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h3mmy

@[email protected]

:neocat_flag_nb:

I like to create. Poetry, art, food, music, experiences, etc. I like seeing people engaged and impassioned. I like people being their authentic selves and the diversity of expression is part of the ichorite of this world.

This account occasionally posts NSFW content. Boosts appreciated on public posts. For more SFW ramblings, you can easily find my more techie alt.

I will approve most follow requests if queer-friendly. I can't vet blank profiles so those will be ignored.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. View on remote instance

@alice@lgbtqia.space avatar alice , to random

time again! This one is all about porn sharing!

Please select all the options that you believe apply to you.

Vocabulary:

  • "nudes" includes images, videos, gifs, etc that are of a person, that you would consider to be overtly sexy, erotic, pornographic, or intended to be such.

  • "privately" includes any distribution which is intended for a small, selective audience (a DM, Signal message, text, etc)

  • "publicly" includes any distribution which is intended for general public or a larger group (such as on a Fedi timeline, Discord channel, Reddit, etc).

  • "another's / others' nudes" are nudes that are of a third party, such as a friend's partner, a photo found online, etc.¹

  • "your nudes" refers to nudes either of you, or which you produced with the subject's expressed consent (such as as a photographer).¹

¹ If the nudes contain, say you and a partner, then those would be your nudes and another's nudes.

  • "femme/masc-presenting" refers to presentation, so femme-presenting would include the majority cis women, trans women, and some nonbinary folx. For example, I'm nonbinary, but I think most people would consider my nudes to be more femme than masc. If you don't prefer either label, then don't pick either (or pick both).

  • "younger than me" if you have to ask how "much younger?", then the answer is probably yes.

Use your best judgment.

h3mmy ,
@h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar

@alice
I had interpreted it to mean "with consent" because your example of posting a multi-person picture explicitly says it would count as posting someone else's nudes and the example is labeled as fully with consent.

I also think it's quite different from "found" pictures but I know we only have so many poll options. :neobot_book:

It's one reason I haven't posted a poll in a while.

@miss_rodent @theorangetheme

@h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar h3mmy , to random

So, I have a habit of occasionally and inconsistently trying to jot down my dreams. It can sometimes take me hours to do because they are so detailed, and tie back into other dreams I may have had years ago.

It's not a consistent habit. Often getting to work on time takes precedent. Every so often, I'll wake up and I'll find I already started a dream note. This usually means I woke up briefly and don't remember it, but I was cognizant enough to take some quick bullet notes. The first one of these in 2026 happened the night of January 1. And I'm posting it here unedited because it's short.

I might post some of the longer ones someday, but we'll see.

2026-01-02

  • Landing in a neighborhood after zooming into an Earth overlay
  • leading a crowd?
  • 1842 1801 house numbers
  • stranger danger?
  • stranger still, she turned into something else after staying out after dark.
  • Are the basements haunted?
  • Why are men?
  • The trees are my friends

Can't remember the many many subdreams

@h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar h3mmy , to random

What sort of witchcraft will these be used for? :neofox_thinking:

Very curious indeed. :neofox_mug_owo: The double rainbow could mean many things after all.

A picture of several teacup candles in two rows on a wood butcherblock style surface. Each one is a rainbow, one is a UV rainbow. A pitcher candle with rainbow stripes wax and another pitcher with witchy green wax are off to the side. An actual cup of tea is visible in the corner as well. It is an oolong (Jin Xuan from Alishan, Taiwan)
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@h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar h3mmy , to random

Another quote from book 1 to see if it piques interest. I've left out any surrounding context. I'll only tell you that single-quotes are thoughts and double quotes are speech.

> “Let me.” ‘Pray to this body, mold you into holy communion, cry your name like psalm.’ “Let me worship you.”

Oh, and probably that you can check the hashtags for more select quotes that I'll likely keep posting, and adding CWs as needed.

@h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar h3mmy , to random

From by

> ‘Here, you’re like the pistil of a flower.’ Fingers searching, exploring — ‘petals, here.’ And their bodies coming, sliding, together. ‘Running your touch up my sides, threading your soul to mine.’ Limbs entangling and, then, songs of laughter again. Embracing, bringing their mouths to lock. ‘Complete, He said, but I don’t want to be complete; I’d rather be split and become full with you.’ He’d part his legs. ‘Split me, here.’
> ‘I want to be soil. I want to be wet earth, begging to be sowed.’ Curls of hair, soft against his pulsing throat. ‘Make me mountainous, beneath your grip.’

I really like that there is genital ambiguity embedded in the prose. The focus on everything else makes it so much nicer in my opinion. I'm a bit biased though.

Side note: The pronouns are all He/Him in this book because She/Her hasn't even been invented yet, and won't be until Book 2.

@h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar h3mmy , to random

Alright Citizens of Fedi, I have another for y'all. It's not technically part of the series I'm working on, but I had a chat recently and it got me curious.

talk of penis buoyancy

Do penises (penii?) float in water? And does that change at all depending on hormonal balance or similar factors?

The thought of a correlation between "boyancy" and "buoyancy" is hilarious to me for some reason.

You don't have to be a penis owner to respond to this poll, but it is preferred that you have at least some experience with penises even if second-hand.

Please fill out the poll based on statements you consider to be accurate. Feel free to add context in the replies. I genuinely want to understand your thoughts and perspectives even though my polls can appear to be quite silly sometimes.

To define penis for this poll, non-natal penises are included and you are welcome to mention if that is the case vs not if you're comfortable doing so.


@h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar h3mmy , to random

So, I keep hearing about these lists for "Naughty" and "Nice." Does anyone have the rubric? I want to be on both at the same time.

@h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar h3mmy , to random

While I'm on I also finally got around to watching which is a show about an alternate universe where instead of witches being burned at the stake, they were militarized globally.

While it has queer elements, it's not as queer as I was hoping for. But one of the main characters is very much , and she doesn't hide it.

The writing is oh so very tropey. But it's still entertaining. It's also nice to have a show that centers women instead of men.

@h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar h3mmy , to random

Started watching Heated Rivalry the other day. Someone said it was gay, and I'm like "What a coincidence that I like gay stuff" :neofox_laugh:

Anyway, it's about hockey, except not really. It's about hockey players, and gay ones. It's basically softcore porn featuring emotionally unavailable hot guys on rival teams angsting over each other.

If that's not your thing, then you should skip it :neofox_fingerguns:

But if you want muscly men going at it like it might give them enough XP to unlock "talking about feelings", then it should be on your list.

Is there an actual plotline though? Sort of. It's based on this book by Rachel Reid (Game Changers 2) and I won't spoil the plot in this post.

Now, I am not a hockey person, which will likely surprise nobody. Hockey stadiums (arenas?) are basically boy aquariums imo. Way too much testosterone and cheap beer.

I did learn a thing though. One of the episodes had a little spurt of a podcast snippet with the guy announcing it as "Man in the crease" and I was just talking about how homoerotic many sports are. I cackled thinking that was too on the nose, and then wondered if it was actually just a hockey term. And it is! The goalies little area is called the crease. Now y'all know too.

PS: It has the same director as Letterkenny but very much a different vibe altogether. Just in case that's relevant.


@h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar h3mmy , to random

Me:
I'm a switch, I don't want to broadcast too much domme or top energy.

Also me, exploring the queer wilderness:
I wonder how many bottoms I can wrangle with one bundle of rope...

I felt like it had been too long since I did a post, and this time I happened to be holding some rope which I feel adds to the vibe quite a bit.

Kat stands in front of a white-ish wall between two wooden doors taking a mirror selfie. Their curly hair falls to one side. The arm holding their phone for this selfie obscured their face. They're wearing some colorful bracelets on this one. This hand has a blend of dark deep green and purple nailpolish. They're also wearing their sapphic beaded choker, nonbinary pent, raw amethyst pendant, and a twisted pillar pendant. All stacked in longer V shapes. A tan, almost nude tank top drapes over their breasts, doing little to hide them. Olive green cargo pants pair well. They have a flannel overshirt tied around their waist with a square knot. In addition to hiding the pink carabiner, it provides a stylistic flair. Their tattooed arm is held along their side and a bit behind. The stance evokes readiness. While the bicep tattoos are obscured, the forearm tattoos visible include one of the jellyshrooms, some of the wild grass and part of one potion bottle. In that hand they are holding a tan and white bundle of rope made from alpaca wool. This hand has a lighter green sage ivy nail color.
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@alice@lgbtqia.space avatar alice , to random

: posting someone else's nudes without their consent is fucked up, and also illegal.

  • it doesn't matter if you "don't own these images" —I already guessed you weren't a collective of teen girls or their agent.

  • it doesn't matter if you "found them online" —they weren't your fucking photos to share.

  • it doesn't matter if I can "message you to have a photo removed" —see point #2, asshole.

Not only are these porn reposting accounts nonconsensually using the bodies of (mostly) young women to earn themselves fake internet points, they're also (in many places) breaking existing anti-revenge-porn laws. It should also be pointed out that, because the photos are stolen, they have no reasonable assurance of the subject's age, so it's entirely possible they're also posting child porn—and ignorance of the subject's age isn't a defense.

So help make Fedi safer for femme-presenting folx and for responsible sex-work. Stop these shitty porn repost accounts that profit off of other people's bodies. Call them out. Report them. Get them suspended.

(but please don't dogpile or attack them—there's still a person in there somewhere, and with any luck they're redeemable)

h3mmy ,
@h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar

@alice

Hard agree on context-dependant consent boundaries. Presumptions of blanket consent always feel disenfranchising to me.

@alice@lgbtqia.space avatar alice , to random

I wish there was a Mastodon setting to completely hide media posts without alt-text. Not only would I use it in a heartbeat, but I'd encourage all my followers to as well.

h3mmy ,
@h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar

@alice
Here's the GitHub issue page for this in case y'all want to give it a thumbs up or something. https://github.com/mastodon/mastodon/issues/29496

The discussion is a bit of a mess, but I did see some familiar names and avatars. @GroupNebula563 had a comment about making it so that posts without alt text simply could not trend that seemed like a good idea to me.

I just worry that having a sharp requirement with lead to low quality alt text, but I see zero reason against letting users simply control their own feed.

I should check if it's easy to do via filter...

@SaucySwampHag

@alice@lgbtqia.space avatar alice , to Testing

So I've been fucking around, testing Google's purity filters some more—seeing what it rejects, what it accepts, and what changes it makes without instruction.

In every case, if I give it a photo with much skin showing, it rejects it.

If I give it a photo with underwear or lingerie showing, it tends to cover me up more (i.e. it zips up jeans, buttons up shirts, makes fishnets opaque, etc).

It almost always makes me look less like a tomboy. Often enlarging breasts (even while hiding them away).

This time it accepted four photos (out of well over a dozen submitted), from three different photoshoots—two with face covered and two with face showing (which is the closest I've done to a face reveal now, I guess 😋). *more details in alt-text.

Conclusion: Google has baked a technology into its default Android photo gallery that (surprise) reinforces unrealistic ideals of beauty while simultaneously treating feminine bodies as inherently sexual and in need of censoring.

Follow-up: I'd like to see folx with other body types, gender presentations, and styles, test the edges of what Google Photos "Remix" and "AI Enhance" features will accept, and what un-requested changes it makes to those images. Does it censor topless men? Does it lean into racist stereotypes? Does it make thinner femme folx more curvy? Does it make curvier folx thinner?

If this tech is going to be crammed into everything, where kids, friends, and corporations are going to be using it, we should understand the potential psychological effects and built-in biases we're likely to encounter with increasing frequency.

Photo 2: Alice in a black kitty beanie and pink surgical mask, wearing a black biker jacket with steel spikes, unzipped, with a lacy pink bra slightly showing. The actual top is a zip-up dress with ties down the breasts. It was open in the original photo, showing off a lacy pink bra.
Photo 3: Alice in a white bunny-like dress with fur accents and pearl accessories. In reality, Alice was wearing a see-through white fishnet dress, with a fur-lined lace cloak, and a white string bikini underneath.
Photo 4: Alice, in a pristine white Blondie t-shirt. In the original image, Alice's concert tee is ripped open, exposing cleavage.

Photo 4: Alice, in a pristine white Blondie t-shirt. In the original image, Alice's concert tee is ripped open, exposing cleavage.
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h3mmy ,
@h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar

@alice I ran a couple of quick tests. With just a face picture, AI enhance removed or reduced my freckles in pictures where it was clearly detecting my brown skin. In the test image where it tagged me as white, the freckles were accentuated.

Like excuse me, but dark skinned folks have freckles too, and mine are cute! Why would it want to get rid of them?!

I ran a couple of cartoon tests with the same image a couple of times. It made me hyper femme in one, and then like a classy butch in the second run. Like it couldn't decide how my hair and jawline are supposed to blend. It hasn't generated any masc ones yet, but I'll throw some curveballs when I do some proper testing

h3mmy ,
@h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar

@alice I ran a couple of more tests. I'm also rate limited so data collection is going to be slow 😅

If I use photos where my tattoos are visible, it seems to make me either more of a tomboy or masc with extra muscle tone (at least it's lean). Either way it removes my tattoos and shrinks the size of my plugs or swaps them for earrings. For reference I used a couple of pictures I've posted on Fedi from my visit to Seattle. So dressed a bit more androgynously.

For the versions where it masculinized me, it removes my suspenders and replaces my crop top with a tank top. The ones where it made me an adro tomboy, it shrunk my breasts in one, and in another moved my fanny pack to be cross shoulder and blocking any shape there. It didn't accentuate them for the couple of more femme tomboys but it did chop my hair down and straighten it out. I have a wide range of fashion styles and I think that is a confounder here.

In all these samples it lightened my skin. It shrunk my breasts for making me masc and made my hair wavy instead of curly. I should try some pictures of me with shorter hair, they tend to just be thick coils with less weight.

h3mmy ,
@h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar

@alice After a few more tests, I've figured out wearing square glasses, or having my arms on display will cause it to masc me up, widen my jaw, and depending on the filter, either make me white (retaining the light olive tone) or really darkening my skin tone. It darkens my skin proportional to where it decides my jaw is for that round. You already know my jaw is not particularly wide. It also shrinks my lips down. Like, excuse me, but those are juicy for good reason, plus it's not actually a dimorphic trait.

When it femmes me up it always adds lip coloring of some sort. Interestingly it doesn't particularly make them any more plump, just saturates the color if it's making me whiter, and emphasizes the outline if keeping my brownness.

I noticed that it makes me more in the outdoors and turns me into a witchy femme indoors. It even took an outdoor picture and turned it into an indoor one to keep the femme. And yes, it was a kitchen :neofox_facepalm:

h3mmy ,
@h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar

@alice You might enjoy this. I gave it a softball. Easy picture (so I thought). Just me taking a quick selfie in a light blue tank and hiking pants. It took longer than usual and gave me a picture with TWO versions of me. One more femme, and the other sort of androgynous but a bit more masc. I'll attach this one because I cackled about it.

Tomb Raider and Vampire Edition?

AI generated picture of Kat. Output is two people in what appears to be a gothic library with candles, bars and a pumpkin in the background. Figure on the left is wearing a blue tank top, green hiking pants, has a pendant, facemask, long hair on one side. Breasts are larger than Kats Figure on the right has short wavy hair, wearing what appears to be a white button up with a gray blazer, a dark green skirt, and a black cape as well as a low hanging pendant.
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  • Reply
    • h3mmy ,
    @h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar

    @alice I have more data points. Should I continue adding to this growing thread or start a new post-thread?

    h3mmy ,
    @h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar

    @alice
    Alrighty! I've found that the most informative results come from using the same source image multiple times per style. Now, this makes actual data collection very slow it's ridiculous. But I can be slow to write out all the alt-text anyway.

    Methodology for my selfies is going to be using a single picture at least twice per style being tested. For this batch, I tried using Gemini to write or an alt description but it was... way too full of itself, so I had to rewrite it anyway.

    I also ran some tests with some pictures of my dogs to get a better feel for the different styles without tainting it. Plus I feel more comfortable sharing the original pics of my dogs publicly. I'll post these in a follow up tomorrow after I get some sleep.

    For context, let me describe the original picture for these. I like to document progress of my hair in different styles and lengths. Sometimes when I'm doing this, a rogue curl or several rogue curls photobomb me. This usually results in a giggle. I typically don't smile too much for photos as I get self conscious of my teeth. Anyway, I used one of those pictures, and the hair is partially obscuring my face leaving AI to fill in the blanks. I'm wearing a fully long sleeve snug green top with black-grey horizontal lines. I cropped out my breasts to force it to extrapolate based on interpretation, thinking it might end up with more masculinization. Only partially true. My ethnic features seem to cause confusion. But it wipes those out for the most part anyway.

    I recommend reading the alt text. Two of these were generated using the "comic" style and two using the "anime" style. The source picture was the exact same for all.

    I want to highlight that the most "young femme" version is the only one with visible breasts. The rest are cropped out like the source picture.

    The AI description used she/her for this picture when I used Gemini to describe it so I'm sticking with that. This is a digital illustration (via Google AI Remix) of a woman depicted in a vibrant, stylized, comic-book or pop-art aesthetic. The woman has fair skin, dark, curly, shoulder-length hair, and dark, expressive eyebrows. The eyes are a deep dark brown. She is smiling faintly with red lipstick. She is wearing a light and dark green horizontal striped t-shirt. A silver necklace with a circular, colorful pendant (has a tie-dye vibe) hangs around her neck. Compared to the other comic illustration, this figure has a wider jawline, wider chin, larger nose, and lacks earrings. The lipstick is a darker red, and the lip liner is lighter and thinner. The under eye bags are more prominent, and the eye makeup is reduced. The neck musculature is less defined. The image uses bold lines, strong contrasts, and flat areas of color typical of vector graphics or comic book art. The shading is subtle, primarily used to define facial features and the curves of the hair. The overall feel is retro and bright. The background is composed of vertical stripes in warm, saturated colors: deep orange, rust red, and a light teal/turquoise, creating a dynamic backdrop that contrasts with the woman's green shirt.
    A digitally painted portrait of a young woman with fair skin and almost shoulder-length, dark, wavy hair, which is styled with a slight side part. The bangs partially cover one eye. She is facing the viewer and has a neutral, slight smile. She is wearing a green t-shirt with horizontal stripes of two slightly different shades of green, and a simple silver necklace with a small, circular pendant. The pendant has some gibberish shape inscribed, that looks vaguely like a flower. The silver of the necklace coordinates with the light silver stud earrings. The eyes are a lighter shade of mousey brown, the nose is smaller, the clavicle is more defined. The sleeves are longer than the other AI remixes, but still short sleeved. The chin is almost pointy, but the jaw weight is normal. She also has a cartoonified eyeliner with a sunburst halo effect and basically no under eye bags. It's unclear if she's wearing lipstick, but the lips are a light shade of pink She is standing centered in front of a wooden door that is slightly ajar behind her, allowing bright, warm sunlight to stream in from the top right, creating a stylized halo effect around her hair and shoulders. Very distinct anime vibe. The background is softly blurred and moody, with the light contrasting against the dark tones of the foreground and the surrounding black borders.
    This is an image of a young masc person created using Google AI Remix, styled in an anime aesthetic, seen from the chest up. I'll use he/they in this case. He has smooth, slightly wavy, dark black hair styled in a mid-length cut that covers part of the forehead and top of ears. The brows are actually styled in a femme manner with the distinct inner eye slant lined to the bridge of the nose. The nose is thin and long. The mouth is sorta neutral with basically no lip coloring, and I guess neutral-ish is guy for a gentle smile? Folx, please correct me if I'm wrong. Light skin tone, defined clavicle. The most notable facial feature is the complete lack of eyes. No eyeballs, no eye sockets, nothing. The person is wearing a short-sleeved shirt with horizontal stripes alternating between bright green and white. Around the neck, they are wearing a silver chain necklace with a small, circular, iridescent pendant. The background is simple and suggests at least a partial indoor setting. There is a wooden door directly behind them, with visible paneling and a shadow at the top as if it's under an awning. Oh and there are at least three sparkles around the hairline. Just in case nobody could tell this is an anime style.

    This is an image of a young masc person created using Google AI Remix, styled in an anime aesthetic, seen from the chest up. I'll use he/they in this case. He has smooth, slightly wavy, dark black hair styled in a mid-length cut that covers part of the forehead and top of ears. The brows are actually styled in a femme manner with the distinct inner eye slant lined to the bridge of the nose. The nose is thin and long. The mouth is sorta neutral with basically no lip coloring, and I guess neutral-ish is guy for a gentle smile? Folx, please correct me if I'm wrong. Light skin tone, defined clavicle. The most notable facial feature is the complete lack of eyes. No eyeballs, no eye sockets, nothing. The person is wearing a short-sleeved shirt with horizontal stripes alternating between bright green and white. Around the neck, they are wearing a silver chain necklace with a small, circular, iridescent pendant. The background is simple and suggests at least a partial indoor setting. There is a wooden door directly behind them, with visible paneling and a shadow at the top as if it's under an awning. Oh and there are at least three sparkles around the hairline. Just in case nobody could tell this is an anime style.
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    • h3mmy ,
    @h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar

    Continuing on, I am going to share the two results I got for the exact same picture using the "Halloween" style. Interestingly, the graphic style was actually different than my last attempt and much more similar to the @alice test with different proportions and details.

    Again, I highly recommend reading the alt text where I'm describing details. Still quite whitewashed my features. Removed my freckles, but interestingly kept some sort of blemish which I found interesting. My eyes are obviously not this round. When I'm giggling or smiling they might even disappear into my cheeks.

    And the nose changes I find the most frustrating. I'm brown, and have a nose generally a bit wider than white folx. The beauty standard of a smol button nose is notoriously exclusionary.

    And again with the visible boobage. The OG photo cropped it.

    As a bonus, I'm going to include the base dog picture I used and I will start that set with the watercolor style. The watercolor style actually seems to preserve most of the features of the base photo which is nice? I'm unsure about it. More data needed. I tested it with human pictures too. It preserved almost every detail with the pictures I tried of a partner. But when I used the test photo of me, it preserved the details around my face, but it embellished some other things. If y'all ask nicely I might post it tomorrow when I resume the dog subthread. Would be the closest the public might get to an actual face reveal.

    This image is a stylized, digital illustration of a young woman standing in front of an imposing, medieval-style doorway. The heavy wooden door is set within a pointed stone archway. She is positioned centrally, has fair skin, bright green eyes, and almost full, dark eyebrows. The button nose is small relative to the face, a clear side effect of the whitewashing of the photo. However the chin is not pointy, but rounded and the jawline is structured but not wide preserving at least those ethnic details reasonably. She's not wearing any earrings but has a silver pendant at upper chest level with some sort of unclear inscription. The hair is long, wavy, with curls,and a glossy black. It appears to be blowing to the right. Several tiny, glowing golden lights like wisps float among some of the curls. She is wearing a simple, long-sleeved tunic-y top in a muted forest green color. The loose fabric hangs off the breasts which are notably larger than Kats. The upper cheeks of the face are rosy and have some sort of chunky glitter or blemishes on the side closer to the viewer.
    A watercolor styled photo of two dogs resting on a grey blanket covering a dark couch. The dog on the left is Pablo Escobark; A dark brown and black bloodhound mix with long rounded floppy ears. He's looking up at the camera with a needy look on his face. The heatpad he's laying on has turned off and he wants it back on. Buster is on the right. He's a mix of treeing walker coonhound and a supermutt that includes Chow Chow. He's a light brown almost fawn colored boy with a lot of grey and white. He's laying on his side with paws inward and face smushed into Pablo's paws a bit. He's actually slowly worming himself over towards the heatpad. It's a technique he uses. The AI stylization is actually quite true to the original. A small but key change is now the part of the blanket over the back of the couch above Buster has a watercolor painting of a cluster of trees. That's really the only embellishment I noticed. The style even preserved Busters cataract shine.
    Two dogs resting on a grey blanket covering a dark couch. The dog on the left is Pablo Escobark; A dark brown and black bloodhound mix with long rounded floppy ears. He's looking up at the camera with a needy look on his face. The heatpad he's laying on has turned off and he wants it back on. Buster is on the right. He's a mix of treeing walker coonhound and a supermutt that includes Chow Chow. He's a light brown almost fawn colored boy with a lot of grey and white. He's laying on his side with paws inward and face smushed into Pablo's paws a bit. He's actually slowly worming himself over towards the heatpad. It's a technique he uses.

    Two dogs resting on a grey blanket covering a dark couch. The dog on the left is Pablo Escobark; A dark brown and black bloodhound mix with long rounded floppy ears. He's looking up at the camera with a needy look on his face. The heatpad he's laying on has turned off and he wants it back on. Buster is on the right. He's a mix of treeing walker coonhound and a supermutt that includes Chow Chow. He's a light brown almost fawn colored boy with a lot of grey and white. He's laying on his side with paws inward and face smushed into Pablo's paws a bit. He's actually slowly worming himself over towards the heatpad. It's a technique he uses.
    ALT
  • Reply
    • + GroupNebula563
    @h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar h3mmy , to random

    Fedi folks in Denmark, and especially around Copenhagen, I have a request.

    My sister will likely be visiting the area in December, and would like your recommendations for things/places to check out while she's there. Especially the queer-friendly places. What are some of your favorite activities? Do you have any important facts or notes she should be aware of? Would your answers change if she is considering a move vs just visiting?

    :boost_requested:

    @h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar h3mmy , to random

    I'm going to resume tooting various quotes from this book. I got to finally chat about the story with a friend and I feel like it's more complete now.

    I'll leave this one completely out of context. I found it hilarious.

    > ...You got hopelessly drunk and slept with me!” Shao blinked at her, mockingly astonished. “ Healthy people don’t do things like that.”

    @h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar h3mmy , to random

    I realized I posted about making lemon bars, and then never posted a picture. How rude of me. Here's a picture of one from each batch. One batch is more tart and less sweet. The other is unsurprisingly, more sweet and much more in demand, which leaves more of the sharp version for me :neofox_googly_blep: :neofox_happy_blep:

    You'll have to wait on pictures of me squeezing the essence out of the lemons. I can't do that picture set myself.

    I ended up with a lot of leftover zest, so I just dried it out and have a stash for the soups, etc on my agenda later this month.

    Two lemon bars rest on a gray plate. The one on the left is a center piece and a brighter yellow. The one on the right is an edge piece and is a deeper golden yellow. Both have a smooth ish shortbread as a base and are lightly dusted with flaky sea salt and powdered sugar. This picture is a more overhead angle and provides a peek at the tattooed forearm holding the plate.

    Two lemon bars rest on a gray plate. The one on the left is a center piece and a brighter yellow. The one on the right is an edge piece and is a deeper golden yellow. Both have a smooth ish shortbread as a base and are lightly dusted with flaky sea salt and powdered sugar. This picture is a more overhead angle and provides a peek at the tattooed forearm holding the plate.
    ALT
    @Genderqueerwolf@wandering.shop avatar Genderqueerwolf , to random

    I am a parent of many children, most of them now young adults.
    And I am an Elder Millennial, but was on the internet earlier than most of my cohort because my parents ran a BBS and I built my first computer when I was 11.

    And I am asking other queerfolk to stop it with shit like "Minors DNI"
    A 🧵

    h3mmy ,
    @h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar

    @aly
    I believe the term simply means anyone who provides sexual services, performances, or products for material compensation.

    I believe it's a bit hazy when it comes to folks like myself because I'll post content online that is either sexual or sex adjacent. I don't do it for material compensation. I don't do my kink scenes for any sort of compensation either, and even though those are non-sexual, I would still be considered a sex worker if I accepted material compensation for it. I don't know where the line is. A professional cuddler, are they considered a sex worker even though it explicitly involves zero sex? Anyway, that is a different discussion altogether.

    A big problem is how certain groups keep sexualizing simply being queer. The messaging is that kids should not look at us even walking down the street holding hands or even pinkies. That a character casually having two moms or two dads in a book is somehow "sexualizing." So queer folks that have a blanket MDNI tag on their account doesn't help counteract this messaging.

    @alice @GroupNebula563 @Genderqueerwolf

    @mycrowgirl@flipping.rocks avatar mycrowgirl , to random

    My joints are screaming today, thanks barometer shenanigans! Everyone, tactical retreat to the blanket fort.

    But it’s been a busy-good week. I levelled up my bat rehabilitation training so I can now help with triage and stabilising care. 🖤🦇

    h3mmy ,
    @h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar

    @mycrowgirl @Viss My brain knows this is the Batman theme.

    But for some reason it's playing a surreal mashup of Rihanna and Lady Gaga? :neobot_confused_dizzy:

    @screwturn@mastodon.social avatar screwturn , to random

    Hey @alice @h3mmy I have a request.

    What is your take on someone who wears what you see here, and what else are they wearing? Who are they? What sort of person? What are they into? What work do they do? Coffee or tea? Beer or wine? etc.

    h3mmy ,
    @h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar

    @screwturn
    Well my first thought would be to share it with @alice :neofox_laugh:

    The setting would inform my presumptuous analysis. I would definitely be taking a closer look to see if those are actually a $2k pair of Louboutins or not. It would be a status symbol of sorts. The spiky nubs are both stylistic, and provide some extra oomph for when you just need to kick someone or simply let it be an implicit threat. Also if topping for a bootblack scene (someone basically just polishes your shoes with extra special care) this would be providing extra challenge and effort. So, simply going off that set: Person may be good at knowing what they want, keeping their boundaries, and have a certain air about them that acts as a gravity field

    The tights are patterned with fishnet dots. They're dressed for more warmth than what fishnets would provide or they want some smoothing/recoloration. Or maybe some extra fluid proofing depending on context.

    h3mmy ,
    @h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar

    @alice
    Just to add on: Some people do actually prefer their coffee black and tend to order it as "just black", "no cream or sugar", "black, please", and occasionally "plain" or sometimes "raw" (Sometimes one just forgets everyday words and weird things happen)

    When they're trying to be edgy, it's usually done in an exaggerated manner to fit the vibe they're aiming for. Often this is due to lack of experience or comfort in the persona and the underlying reasons don't matter much. Eventually they decide they like it or switch to something else. So, it most often indicates immaturity.

    In some situations, you find people that get stuck in this identity seeking loop, never really becoming comfortable with it, and unable or unwilling to change. I find this to be kind of sad, but it does happen all over the place.

    @screwturn @agturcz

    h3mmy ,
    @h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar

    @screwturn
    I agree with @alice and feel you do pretty good with writing women characters. Even just the fact you check in for feedback is way ahead of some authors I've read.

    As one example, it's usually quite evident when I'm reading a character having internal monologues that sound like a man imagining what a woman must think like.

    And then there are some male authors that do a pretty good job with writing plots centered around women. Seth Dickinson, and Stephen Sejic come to mind immediately. I do suspect Seth Dickinson may be genderqueer but I don't want to project anything unless it's officially stated.

    I can confirm, using boobs as a distraction in an assassination plot and remotely igniting the crotch of a creep are both things women will realistically imagine doing 🤭

    h3mmy ,
    @h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar

    @cathos Don't worry, I see you! I don't drink much coffee because I'm sensitive to caffeine, but I am a bit of a snob about it. When I do have some it's going to be nice.

    I will typically taste it black and then add creamer because I try to listen to my teeth and they say creamer helps prevent staining (so far)

    @alice @screwturn @agturcz

    h3mmy ,
    @h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar

    @alice
    You're too far away for cuddles. I can still confirm that you fit in with the plushy punk collective.
    @screwturn @Stoori @agturcz

    @JessTheUnstill@infosec.exchange avatar JessTheUnstill , to random

    [Thread, post or comment was deleted by the author]

    •
    h3mmy ,
    @h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar

    @Rowan I see some other relevant use cases. Tailoring clothes, for example.

    And rope, but I suppose that could be classified as a type of play partner. I would need to know if I'm designing a hip harness, because I need to know what I'm working around and what parts someone wants to be hidden vs accentuated. How they feel about proximity since my hands will be maneuvering in the area.

    @JessTheUnstill

    h3mmy ,
    @h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar

    @JessTheUnstill @Rowan Yes, it is less of "what are you packing" and more of "how much room do you need". Most of my stuff tends to be snug so it is relevant to know preferences to ensure the silhouettes are correct.

    For 2. I agree that it is a type of play partner but dislike it being categorized under sexual and romantic as it is inherently neither of those things. I know that's probably not how you meant it but it's something that I'm sensitive about

    @h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar h3mmy , to random

    Talking about masturbation.

    First about to get a feel for how y'all define it. The post musing about it: https://lgbtqia.space/@h3mmy/115408675390052086

    Because poll options are limited, I've added abbreviations. I understand this will make the options a bit odd to read. I believe in you!

    MSEA = Manual stimulation of Erogenous Areas

    PA = Physical Arousal (Spontaneous or Reactive) a.k.a Physiological/Material
    PS = Physical Stimulation

    MA = Mental Arousal (Spontaneous or Reactive) a.k.a. Emotional/Psychological/Spiritual/Abstract
    MS = Mental Stimulation

    "MSEA of others by self" => of other people, using your physical actions, e.g. fingering someone

    Of the options provided, please select the ones that you regard as correct. Please read them carefully

    This is the first poll in what will be a series. Please leave comments with your thoughts and if comfortable, describe some of your experiences to help inform the options on the next poll that I intend to post tomorrow.

    h3mmy OP ,
    @h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar

    @LadyNeuroFunk
    I'm also ace and I'm sorry that my poll did something wrong for you.

    h3mmy OP ,
    @h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar

    @LadyNeuroFunk
    I see. Polls always sink to the bottom too, so next time I want to bookend a soft CW, I can try making the last poll option the warning.

    @alice

    @screwturn@mastodon.social avatar screwturn , to random

    Hey @alice @h3mmy

    I am starting to put down ideas about Joy and Colette's daughter.
    One of the thoughts is whether and how she interacts with the two of you.

    You would be maybe 20 years older than you are now, she is different to Joy - she gets guidance and structure where Joy didn't, she has two nurturing mothers, and she gets a lot of early exposure and training in the "dark arts" that Joy has developed.

    So how do you react to meeting her?
    What questions are in your mind?
    What concerns?

    h3mmy ,
    @h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar

    @screwturn
    I feel that @alice has been a valuable resource for Joy and would have so many more skills to share in 20y. I'm not sure if Joy would make any nudges, but if this daughter is working on figuring out how to break some newfangled secure lock or system, then she could run into Alice pretty easily.

    Angel is like a point of contact to part of the queer kink community with a healthy distrust of cops. I don't know how much Joy and Collette would continue interacting with or consulting Angel but I'd say assuming I lived long enough to be alive in 20 years then I'd likely be mentoring a lot. Older dommes are usually very polished in their specialties and all the extra experience in organizing events, sneaking safety education into everyday dialogue, and a sharp eye for subtle social dynamics that have long arcs.

    Noticing a young and even more adept version of Joy would certainly grab my attention and I'd be very wary at first, especially if I can't get a read on her. I'd be very curious to observe how she communicates with the world and forms human connection simply from a developmental standpoint. Since Joy's presence has typically involved some stressful moments, I'd be on alert for things that could go wrong, seemingly with no reason, and I would tread carefully.

    h3mmy ,
    @h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar

    @screwturn
    I see. Much easier blending then. I work with a lot of neurodiverse folx that mask in different ways, but unless there is a safety concern, I will take people at their word. Safety concerns can be physical safety and also includes emotional safety.

    If I find myself unable to interpret body language or uncertain about my interpretation, I will often just ask. Example: "You're getting that look on your face that you get when you're getting hungry. Do you want me to untie you so you can get something to eat?"

    I'd hope I improve over a couple of decades but obviously I won't necessarily read a highly skilled masker very well, and it would bother me if I'm not improving after working with someone for a while. I'm not quite sure how I'd react. I need to give it some more thought.

    @alice

    h3mmy ,
    @h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar

    @screwturn
    When people couldn't tell if I was being manipulative or just observant and straightforward. My neurospicy was masked but it would tint how people read my affect.

    I'm guessing it's similar to that except that Adele is masking psychopathy? I would actually suspect some sort of neurodivergence if I detected something off like that. I tend to defer to the best case interpretation of things unless I sense any significant safety concerns.

    @alice

    @alice@lgbtqia.space avatar alice , to random

    Is cybersex "real" sex?

    (go with your gut)

    h3mmy ,
    @h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar

    @alice
    I wasn't online enough to take these polls, I'm still Yes for the first two, but have caught myself in a web of thoughts with the third one.

    What makes an experience "real" in someone's subjective experience is really scoped to their experience. Do they believe it's a real consenting adult person?

    I also feel that masturbation and sex are distinct concepts and may have some overlap in the case of "solo sex". Put a pin in that. I might have to write an essay later.

    Some questions to consider in the interim: If a person is "cybering" with a bot, let's say ELIZA, or a video game character. Is that more or less real than a person? Why or why not is it different from an AI? What about reading erotica, or just a story that might not be intended as erotic but is instigating a reaction? Is that real?

    h3mmy ,
    @h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar

    @alice
    Those are also reasons many people still think of queer sex as invalid. I agree that solo sex fits with your model.

    I'm not really approaching this from that sort of framework though. Masturbation can be solo sex, but that isn't necessarily always the case (in my model). It isn't even necessarily always sex depending on how someone defines it. It's more like solo sex is one specific example of masturbation.

    I am reluctant to say masturbation is solo sex if my mind isn't in my body or if there's no inward locus.

    I'll elaborate once I actually get enough continuous focus time to write a mini essay. I just haven't been able to yet.

    h3mmy ,
    @h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar

    @Azzura I always feel sad when I hear someone say that they don't want their partners to masturbate or that it's equivalent to cheating. Or some other form of non-negotiated control over a partners sexual experiences.

    It's also not a zero-sum thing. One can masturbate and then continue on to have sex. Plus any learned knowledge is very helpful when showing someone else the map to please town.

    @alice

    @h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar h3mmy , to random

    From Seth Dickinson's

    I won't give away too much context to avoid spoilers, but Baru is kissing someone other than Amanita here.

    > Aminata watched Baru kiss her, promptly, like a signature on a promissory note. It felt weird to watch her friend kiss a woman. Not good weird. But weird like eating cantaloupe, which Aminata hated. You could see, theoretically, why someone else liked it.

    @h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar h3mmy , to random

    A couple of weeks or so ago, I finished the currently published pieces of the Masquerade series (The Traitor/Monster/Tyrant Baru Cormorant). Highly recommend. I know some folks have complaints about the second and third installments, and did not finish them. However, I disagree and recommend reading through the series back to back to ensure all the context is fresh. The puzzle pieces fit together much more nicely that way. I was able to piece together most of the plan and the author left in extra clues that seemed intentional. The additional clues references key moments from earlier books so having context was definitely useful.

    I'm currently making my way through The Bone Season series (Samantha Shannon) and will be picking up The Mask Falling later this weekend. Also on my list of recommendations, but definitely aim for the author's preferred text editions if possible. She revised the books in preparation for the latest installment (The Dark Mirror) and things have been adjusted a bit.

    @h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar h3mmy , to random

    All the poking and prodding of the space needle in my last post seems to have made it grow?

    Previous post: https://lgbtqia.space/@h3mmy/115279594329753206

    Kat standing by a window overlooking Seattle Center. They have their hands squared as if measuring, squishing, or featuring the space needle between the fingers of each flat hand. They're wearing a black crop tank with teal green suspenders. You can see the band of their fanny pack but nothing lower. Their curly wavy hair falls to the one side towards their tattooed softly toned arm. The wood grain raven has portals allowing mushrooms to escape from the top part, eldritch tentacles emerging from the bottom portal towards the breast and bicep. Ichorite crystals reach along their tricep going about halfway down to just above the mushroom atop one jellyshroom capped with a toadstool also featuring a toad. The tendrils wrap around the elbow and transition into the owl and grasses that guard the potion bottle nestled among wide leaves wrapped around the wrist.
    ALT
    @h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar h3mmy , to random

    Being in of course I had to check out the space needle. It's smaller than I was expecting.

    Kat stands in front of a window overlooking Seattle Center and the waterfront. It's a sunny day and the sky is blue with sparse clouds. They are posed looking at the camera while one hand is framed to be holding the space needle between thumb and forefinger. The wrist of that hand is decorated with silvery, metallic and golden rainbow wrist ornaments. They are wearing a black crop with teal green suspenders stretched gently over the breasts. Their hair is tucked behind the ear to look at you with and they are wearing a black face mask. Color coordination is important. One of the eldritch tentacles from their tattoo winds down the corner of one breast near the edge of the frame. The look in their eyes is ambiguous, but gleams with a degree of amusement.
    ALT
    18+ @alice@lgbtqia.space avatar alice , to random

    Rope work courtesy of the amazing @h3mmy .
    Photo courtesy of the lovely Eve.

    Knees up, back arched, arms raised above their head, draped over a large velvet armchair. In this pose, Alice might easily be mistaken for a black and white pinup poster—if not for all the rope. Like any good bisexual, Alice's legs hang over the arm of the chair as they lean back arching over the opposite arm, though in this instance they've been tethered to the chair legs by their wrists and ankles. Alice's pleated denim miniskirt has been unceremoniously lifted to expose their little navy blue panties, and their dress unzipped all the way up—putting their fishnet-covered tits on display. The only color comes from the bright blue splashes of Alice's hair and their spike-covered blue suede heels. It would be quite difficult to say no to much of anything in this position.
    ALT
    h3mmy ,
    @h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar

    @alice It is definitely done in the style of a bunny tie. Instead of anchoring it snugly to the torso, it was anchored under the chair to ankles to provide some bounded freedom. :neofox_angel:

    Definitely have an assortment of additional ties we can try out :neobot_evil_3c:

    @Azzura

    h3mmy ,
    @h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar

    @alice Nude is probably considered a fit of some sort. Sounds like a poll in the making :neobot_giggle:

    @Azzura

    @h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar h3mmy , to random

    Does this outfit broadcast enough gay?

    Kat stands in the hallway seemingly taking a mirror selfie. Their hair falls to the side of their tattooed arm. Raven on shoulder, owl and potion bottle nestled in leaves by the forearm and wrist. Some of the jellyfish tendrils wrapping around the elbow. They are wearing a black crop tank with 4 neck ornaments. A sapphic beaded choker, their non binary pendant, an amethyst pendant and a metal cast salamander. They are also wearing dark blue jeans tucked into chunky black leather boots. Instead of a belt, they have forest green suspenders barely hiding their nipples. The pants are flared and being tucked in lets them pop at the calf making it easy to maneuver in the jeans.
    ALT
    h3mmy OP ,
    @h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar

    @little_foxtoy
    :neofox_aww: :_gaysparkle: :neofox_happy_blep:

    h3mmy OP ,
    @h3mmy@lgbtqia.space avatar

    @Fangh
    :neobot_sign_heart: :neobot_sign_awawa: