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jonberger

@[email protected]

Lawyer and amateur musician from Sonoma County, California. Will share cute pictures of his cats on the slightest provocation.

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@jonberger@sfba.social avatar jonberger , to random
@jonberger@sfba.social avatar jonberger , to random

Apocalypse Later Tonight When the Rates Are Lower

@georgetakei@universeodon.com avatar georgetakei , to random
jonberger ,
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@georgetakei Her comment makes perfect sense if you bear in mind that what Republicans mean by "the Constitution" is the Second Amendment. The rest of it, they haven't read and don't care about.

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Private Ryan's Savings


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Three Ways of Looking at a Blackbird


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Big Girls Don't Cry All That Often


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The Rime of the Middle-Aged Mariner


@jonberger@sfba.social avatar jonberger , to random
@jonberger@sfba.social avatar jonberger , to random

Because I Could Have Stopped For Death But It Would Have Made Me Late For My Manicure Appointment


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@jonberger@sfba.social avatar jonberger , to random

Welcome to Turlock, gateway to Modesto.


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Starship F Troopers


@jonberger@sfba.social avatar jonberger , to random

1 millihelen = the amount of beauty required to launch one ship.


@jonberger@sfba.social avatar jonberger , to random

It's still where I am, so here's a throwback pic to the day I adopted Misha and Henry. They now both weigh in at around 17 pounds, but they're still just as adorable as they were when the nice foster lady took this picture of us.

A bearded guy in a T-shirt holding two somewhat confused-looking kittens, one orange tabby and one gray tabby.
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@georgetakei@universeodon.com avatar georgetakei , to random

What a bunch of shady creepers.

A tweet by Jamie Bonkiewicz reads, “This photo is the reason women cover their drinks.” Below it is a photo of three men in suits standing in a room with military personnel behind them. The man in the center gestures with both hands, while the other two stand with serious expressions.
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jonberger ,
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@georgetakei Not the primary point here, but . . . a plaid suit? Srsly? And to think that they got all up in Obama's face for wearing a lovely well-tailored tan one. Plaid suits are just never ok.

@georgetakei@universeodon.com avatar georgetakei , to random

“For free.”

A tweet from Adam Kinzinger says: “He def works for free unless you count the meme coin, the watches, the Qatar jet that he keeps, his sons’ business ventures that conveniently follow Donald’s intl travel, the many crypto scams…” It’s replying to Brenden Dilley’s tweet that claims: “President Trump works for free. He donates his salary. President Trump is updating and renovating the White House with his own money and or donations…”
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jonberger ,
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@georgetakei He works for fortunes and those velvet curtain calls.

@georgetakei@universeodon.com avatar georgetakei , to random

What’s Trump on the Reich-ter scale?

A mock newspaper headline reads "BREAKING NEWS" from "ReallyGreatSite.com," dated Sunday, December 20, 2055. The main headline states "PRESIDENT TRUMP EXPECTED TO RENAME SAN ANDREAS FAULT TO JOE BIDENS FAULT." Below the headline is an image of a visible fault line in a landscape, showing a rugged, cracked terrain.
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jonberger ,
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@georgetakei There are, in fact, three faults located on the UC Santa Cruz campus called Your Fault, My Fault, and McHenry's Fault. They were discovered by UCSC Earth Sciences students, who therefore got to name them. McHenry was the chancellor of the UCSC campus at the time.

@TheWeeOwl@mastodon.art avatar TheWeeOwl , to random

[Thread, post or comment was deleted by the author]

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    jonberger ,
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    @TheWeeOwl I think they have some very distinct personality traits. They're very sweet and affectionate; they're very gentle; they talk a lot; and they're absolutely hopeless as hunters. At least, that's been true of the two I've lived with.

    @georgetakei@universeodon.com avatar georgetakei , to random

    It’s not college that made him do it, Kari.

    The image shows two X posts. The first, by @shanno ... (Shannon Watts) from 7 hours ago, states: "The assassin was in an electrical apprenticeship program at Dixie Technical College in Utah, which is majority white, male and Mormon." The second, by @Spe ... (Spencer Hakimian) from 8 hours ago, quotes Kari Lake: "Five years earlier, he was a Trump supporter. Then we sent our kids off to college, and they brainwashed them. I am making a plea to mothers out there. Do not send your children into these indoctrination camps. Don't do it." The post includes a photo of Kari Lake speaking at the Kennedy Center, labeled as a Senior Advisor for the U.S. Agency for Global Media, with Charlie Kirk present.
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    jonberger ,
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    @georgetakei Elise Stefanik: Harvard, 2006.
    Josh Hawley: Stanford, 2002.
    JD Vance: Yale, 2013
    Laura Loomer: Barry University, 2013
    Kash Patel: U. Richmond, 2002; Pace (JD), 2005

    Just sayin'.

    @dangillmor@mastodon.social avatar dangillmor , (edited ) to random

    This is the kind of headline that makes me so disgusted with journalism right now: "After six months in ICE custody, Charlotte woman chooses voluntary removal to Honduras" --

    ICE kidnapped and imprisoned her. ICE subjects its prisoners to all kinds of indignities and abuses. She "agreed" to leave due to vile conditions inside, as story notes.

    There is NOTHING voluntary about this. It's like a "confession" after torture.

    At the very least, the headline should have put "voluntary" in quotes.

    Headline from public radio station about so-called "voluntary" deportation of a woman who was kidnapped and imprisoned by ICE, and who agreed to leave the country because of the conditions inside the jail.
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    jonberger ,
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    @dangillmor They should have put the whole phrase "voluntary removal" in quotes. It's a piece of Legalese jargon: she left the country without an immigration judge (or "judge" actually, since they're not really judges) having issued an order authorizing the government to remove her. That, in immigration-law parlance, is called "voluntary removal." I expect that's what the reporter meant, and since he or she probably does a lot of immigration stories the phrase is a familiar one to the reporter, but since it's not familiar to people who aren't in the immigration trenches, it should have been called out as a term of art.

    @georgetakei@universeodon.com avatar georgetakei , to random

    JD Vance says Gavin Newsom is mimicking Trump to sound more authentic. Did a brain worm get to him, too?

    A screenshot of an X post by Aaron Rupar (@atrupar ) on X.com, posted by a verified user with a profile picture of a man with glasses. The post reads: "JD Vance: 'This idea that Gavin Newsom is somehow gonna mimic Donald Trump's style -- I think that ignores the fundamental genius of President Trump's political success, which is that he's authentic.'" The post includes a video thumbnail from a Fox News broadcast labeled "ONE-ON-ONE WITH VICE PRESIDENT JD VANCE" and "THE INGRAHAM ANGLE," showing a man in a suit with a blue tie speaking, with American flags in the background and an "EXCLUSIVE" label on the screen.
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    jonberger ,
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    @georgetakei In fairness, Vance's point is clearly that Trump's randomly capitalized hideously mispunctuated incoherent collections of elementary-school playground bully sneering insults legitimately represent Trump's character and inner mental processes, whereas when Newsom does it it's inauthentic because Newsom is, in reality, a smarter, wiser, and more compassionate human being and has a sound grasp of the principles of elementary English composition. I hate to say it, but I think Vance got that right.

    @georgetakei@universeodon.com avatar georgetakei , to random

    It makes sense once you realize that every accusation is a confession.

    jonberger ,
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    @georgetakei It makes sense once you realize that the "Hillary Clinton runs a pedophile ring" business had nothing to do with pedophile rings and everything to do with blind, red-faced, eyeball-bulging spittle-flecked hatred of Hillary Clinton. The pedophile thing just came up because pedophilia is, to a lot of people, simply the worst characteristic anyone can have. They went with "murderer" for a while, the whole "Hillary killed Vince Foster" thing; the pedophile angle was just the Hillary haters' way of ratcheting it up a notch.

    @georgetakei@universeodon.com avatar georgetakei , to random

    Fire your social team.

    jonberger ,
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    @georgetakei Cuomo has copied the "toxic-masculine bullying" page from Trump's playbook. To be fair, it worked for Trump, a point that apparently hasn't been lost on Cuomo. I'm expecting a snotty demeaning playground-bully nickname for Mamdani in under a week; perhaps "Mama's Boy Dani" or "Zero Mamdani."

    @georgetakei@universeodon.com avatar georgetakei , to random

    Let’s be clear. On the streets, ICE cannot stop or detain anyone without reasonable suspicion, and it can’t just be because of their “physical appearance.”

    jonberger ,
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    @georgetakei Homan is talking about a so-called "Terry stop," named after the 1968 Supreme Court case Terry v. Ohio, which says that law enforcement can conduct a brief investigatory detention if they have "reasonable suspicion" that the subject is involved in criminal activity. Reasonable suspicion is a lower standard than probable cause, but it's still a standard and it has to be met or the detention is unlawful.

    In a 2012 case called Melendres v. Arpaio, the Ninth Circuit -- that's the one in which Los Angeles is located -- addressed the question of whether a Terry stop is justified by reasonable suspicion that the person being detained is unlawfully present in the United States. The answer is no; the court was exquisitely clear on this point. "Oh, and they also looked Hispanic" is in no way an end run around Melendres. The Maricopa County Sheriff's Office, the one involved in that case, has a "Melendres Compliance Corner" web site; Homan might want to have a look.

    https://www.mcso.org/about-us/general-info/melendres-compliance-corner

    @georgetakei@universeodon.com avatar georgetakei , to random

    Always follow the money.

    image/jpeg

    jonberger ,
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    @georgetakei And, just so I'm clear on this, the purpose of the copper tariffs is to encourage the copper-mining industry to mine copper in the U.S. rather than in <checks notes> the places where there's actually copper in the ground? Do I have that right?

    @jonberger@sfba.social avatar jonberger , to random

    Misha showing off his lovely brown markings.

    A gray tabby cat with brown markings on his belly lying on his side on a red fabric couch.
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    @georgetakei@universeodon.com avatar georgetakei , to random

    New political ad just dropped. Thanks, Mitch!

    jonberger ,
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    @georgetakei "If they would rather die, they had better do it and reduce the surplus population."

    -- E. Scrooge

    @georgetakei@universeodon.com avatar georgetakei , to random

    When your "strongest ground" turns into quicksand.

    jonberger ,
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    @georgetakei And cue "the failing low-ratings radical Marxist CNN" in 3 . . . 2 . . . 1 . . .

    But yeah. If I had a nickel for every time in the last decade I've thought "great, this is it, this is the end, he's finally on his way out" -- well, I could probably just about buy a grande latte at Starbucks, which doesn't sound like much, but those lattes are really overpriced.

    @georgetakei@universeodon.com avatar georgetakei , to random
    jonberger ,
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    @georgetakei For one thing, it's not ok to say "Happy Memorial Day," because it's a day of remembering people who died in combat and that's not supposed to make people feel happy. Fox News feels very strongly about that. Of course, they manage to express their strong feelings by dumping on Ilhan Omar and Cori Bush for doing it last year, carefully avoiding any hint of a whisper of a suggestion that Trump might have done the exact same thing this year, but the timing of this piece leaves little doubt about whom they're actually talking about.

    https://www.foxnews.com/opinion/why-saying-happy-memorial-day-misses-true-meaning-holiday

    @georgetakei@universeodon.com avatar georgetakei , to random

    The Democrats account has game. Hunger game, if you will.

    A tweet from Democrats (@TheDemocrats ) features an image of an older man with white hair and a beard, dressed in a maroon suit with a boutonniere, holding a glass of champagne and wearing a black glove on one hand. The background shows an ornate setting with arches and curtains. The image has an "ALT" label in the bottom left corner.

    A tweet from Democrats (@TheDemocrats ) features an image of an older man with white hair and a beard, dressed in a maroon suit with a boutonniere, holding a glass of champagne and wearing a black glove on one hand. The background shows an ornate setting with arches and curtains. The image has an "ALT" label in the bottom left corner.
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    jonberger ,
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    @georgetakei Because I'm very old, my first reaction wasn't "Hunger Games," it was Firesign Theater's "Beat the Reaper."

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5AZwkz8zLU

    @georgetakei@universeodon.com avatar georgetakei , to random
    jonberger ,
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    @georgetakei "Oh, I'm terribly sorry, that's not correct. You didn't Beat the Reaper."

    @georgetakei@universeodon.com avatar georgetakei , to random

    Maybe try doing something positive?

    A tweet from Pete Hegseth (@PeteHegseth ) reads: "In case you wonder what we — and President Trump — are up against. 100% NEGATIVE coverage from so-call 'mainstream' press in the first 100 days. PERFECT SCORE. (Come on @RobertKennedyJr & @elonmusk , you guys can do better!)" It includes a Fox News graphic titled "NEGATIVE COVERAGE ON TRUMP’S CABINET & ALLIES FIRST 100 DAYS," showing RFK Jr with 89%, Elon Musk with 96%, and Pete Hegseth with 100% negative coverage, sourced from Media Research Center. The Fox News logo is in the bottom left.
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    @georgetakei Also, you can tell the press is hopelessly prejudiced because they keep droning on about how cancer is bad. So unfair! If they're going to print a story about how cancer is bad, they should, out of fairness, print another one about how cancer is good.

    @verymetalsite@mastodon.social avatar verymetalsite , to random
    anti AI meme
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    jonberger ,
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    @the5thColumnist @verymetalsite Just out of curiosity, I asked ChatGPT a legal question to which I already knew the answer. It's very slightly technical, but not hugely so; this is something that every lawyer in California who does criminal law would be expected to know, even rank beginners. ChatGPT got it spectacularly wrong, and it took a somewhat lengthy Socratic-method conversation, linked below, for me to persuade it of the right answer. Let's just say that this does not enhance my willingness to rely on LLMs for, well, anything.

    https://chatgpt.com/share/67db316c-68bc-800e-9e91-17cd4311f73e

    @georgetakei@universeodon.com avatar georgetakei , to random

    A reminder that if the government can send migrants to a prison camp without any due process, it can send U.S. citizens there, too. I know because this happened to me and my family in 1942.

    jonberger ,
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    @georgetakei But hey, the Supreme Court has explained that that was "gravely wrong." It took them 70 years to get around to explaining it, though.

    @georgetakei@universeodon.com avatar georgetakei , to random

    Receipts!

    A screenshot of a social media post from the account "Mike Beauvais" (@MikeBeauvais ), timestamped 6 hours ago. The post reads: "Yeah, man. Who would do that?" It quotes a previous post by "House Judiciary GOP" (@JudiciaryGOP ), timestamped May 24, 2023, at 3:11 PM with 310.1K views. The quoted post reads: "Bud Light. Disney. Target. Go WOKE. Go BROKE." with engagement metrics showing 1.3K comments, 612 retweets, 2.2K likes, and 14 shares. Below this, another post from "House Judiciary GOP" (@JudiciaryGOP ), timestamped 8 hours ago, reads: "Democrats are CHEERING for American companies to fail. Disgusting behavior. x.com/tim_walz/statu..." accompanied by an American flag emoji.
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    jonberger ,
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    @georgetakei "The Internet is written in ink," to quote a legal-ethics presentation I just saw.

    @indivisibleteam@mastodon.social avatar indivisibleteam , to random
    We cannot fix everything by fighting back, but we won’t fix anything unless we try.
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    @georgetakei@universeodon.com avatar georgetakei , to random

    Points were made... 🍪

    Screenshot of a social post by '@kryzazzy' that says: 'Calling someone a "tough cookie" isn't a compliment, tough cookies are literally the worst cookies'
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    jonberger ,
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    @georgetakei On a related note, whoever started calling that behavior cats do when they're happy "making biscuits" has probably never made biscuits. If you knead biscuits like that they come out bready rather than flaky. Every biscuit recipe ever warns you not to do that. Maybe the idea is that cats make terrible biscuits, which I suppose makes sense since they're carnivores.

    @georgetakei@universeodon.com avatar georgetakei , to random

    That's just science.

    A social post from @Rollinintheseat that says: The armadillo implies the existence of a legadillo.
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    @georgetakei@universeodon.com avatar georgetakei , to random
    jonberger ,
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    @georgetakei "This is not the end," says Stewart with absolute confidence and certainty, after showing four or five clips of pundits saying ludicrously wrong things about previous election results with absolute confidence and certainty. I actually think he could have said that a little bit better.

    @georgetakei@universeodon.com avatar georgetakei , to random
    jonberger ,
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    @georgetakei He's not exactly wrong about Fruit Loops being a nutritional disaster, but that's because they're about 33% sugar. (13 grams per 42-gram serving.) They also contain food coloring, but I expect the Canadian ones do too; the fact that they're colorful is their whole marketing strategy. But what RFK is probably bloviating about is the vitamin and mineral supplements, which are actually the only good thing about them from a nutritional standpoint.

    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

    "Why did no one tell me that my poor decisions could have consequences?"

    Reddit comment: I (Michigander) voted for Cornel West as a protest vote and I'm starting to regret it. EVERYONE before today said Kamala had this in the bag like how tf is this happening...
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    jonberger ,
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    @lowqualityfacts Literally nobody said that. (That's "literally" in the old-fashioned sense of, umm, "literally.")

    @georgetakei@universeodon.com avatar georgetakei , to random
    jonberger ,
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    @georgetakei Apparently he was trying to say "Assyrians." There was a group of people in the audience wearing "Assyrians for Trump" T-shirts. Why Assyrians should be for Trump is a mystery, but no greater a mystery than why anyone should be.

    @georgetakei@universeodon.com avatar georgetakei , to random

    Whoops.

    Screenshot of a social post by '@Birdeckler' on the social platform 'X' that says: 'My husband just stood, chatting with me, waiting for the microwave to finish for 4 minutes, only to find out that he never put his food in it. 🤷‍♀️🙄😂'
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    jonberger ,
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    @georgetakei Perhaps the recipe he was following said to preheat the oven.

    @georgetakei@universeodon.com avatar georgetakei , to random
    jonberger ,
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    @georgetakei Very cool to know she was in "Les Mis." She doesn't look a bit like Rebecca in that clip, but she's easy to spot because of her height.

    @georgetakei@universeodon.com avatar georgetakei , to random

    What do you think, folks?

    jonberger ,
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    @georgetakei I hate to disagree, but I do. Cauliflower makes an excellent substitute for mashed potatoes. Steam it until it's almost but not quite fully soft. Put it in the oven at 250 for about 20 minutes to dry it out as much as possible. Puree in a food processor with a nice big chunk of cream cheese. Season with salt, pepper, and a pinch of nutmeg. Seriously, it's really good, and I've had people who claim to be repulsed by cauliflower agree with me.