@gilesforyou@mastodon.coffee avatar

gilesforyou

@[email protected]

6'3". Somewhat narrator, definite film reviewer.

Good luck wherever you find yourself.

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@gilesforyou@mastodon.coffee avatar gilesforyou , to random

Rose & Gill 'r' Dead


@amiserabilist@beige.party avatar amiserabilist , to random

congratulations to @TheBreadmonkey and @maxleibman on achieving 5K followers.

it was an epic race and i missed the end.

Everyone's a winner, baby, that's the truth (yes, the truth)

it seems just like yesterday they joined beige.

Piglet Happy Tears GIF
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gilesforyou ,
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@amiserabilist @TheBreadmonkey @maxleibman You skipped the "making love" line, Paul.

gilesforyou ,
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@helplessduck@beige.party avatar helplessduck , to random

My therapist told me I need a hobby, but I don't think they give those out to 40 year olds anymore.
How does one find a hobby? Do people just wake up one morning and say "I'm going to put on a pair of roller skates and see what happens!" and claim that as their hobby if they survive?

gilesforyou ,
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@helplessduck I turned to amateur narration in my late 30s, so it can happen. (And my spouse, at the age of 39, began painting miniatures.)

I believe it's as simple as thinking about what you enjoy doing, and start to do it more, and maybe branch out from there.
https://soundcloud.com/user-651726783/the-legend-of-sleepy-hollow-1

@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

That's harsh.

Carl Sagan argued that Pluto should not count as a planet because it is "a poor man's Neptune.
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gilesforyou ,
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@lowqualityfacts It kills me that no longer shall we know what my very earnest mother served nine of.

@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

Someone recently complained that I'm too liberal, so today's Low Quality Ad is for my conservative followers. I know it's been a tough week for you guys with the temporary loss of the Cracker Barrel barrel, I'm overjoyed that Jesus has answered our prayers and brought it back.
https://collabs.shop/izbajt

A bumper sticker that says "My wife left me after I sat on my gun and blew my entire dick and balls off at Cracker Barrel.
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gilesforyou ,
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@lowqualityfacts Those grande dames know they're on top of the pegging order.

...

Pecking order.

@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Not My Dictator cat pin. Here's how cats deal with fascism:

  1. Hiss at fascists.
  2. Scratch/bite fascists.
  3. Upon victory, sleep for 12-16 hours.

Be more like a cat.
https://collabs.shop/djlkrc

A pin of an angry orange and white cat holding a sign that says "not my dictator".
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gilesforyou ,
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@lowqualityfacts That creature looks as if it may be part English Blue Chinchilla.

I have such a beast, and it, too, has no tolerance for Any meal being late.

(Or anything less than early, for that matter.)

@mcc@mastodon.social avatar mcc , to random

I guess it just feels weird to me that the precise people who were calling us "NPCs" not too many years ago are the exact same people who are really excited about having their posts and emails written by an AI

gilesforyou ,
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@mcc As a self-identifying NPC, I took some umbrage at their use of the term.

However, I take comfort knowing my conversation tree is exponentially more interesting than anything they could hope to make up themselves.

@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

I somehow never knew this.

The full phrase is "Curiosity killed the cat, but pride wounded the feline first".
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gilesforyou ,
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@lowqualityfacts "Pride was the lion's downfall."

@gilesforyou@mastodon.coffee avatar gilesforyou , to random

@TishaPaints , a small item arrived last week.

Here placed in front of a much larger item.

A photograph taken from the Southwestern corner of the ground-floor Dining Room. Illuminated solely by the sunlight coming through a single window whose curtain is drawn (sun position at 3:30, Northern Hemisphere, Eastern Seaboard of the United States), one can observe a green table-cloth with geometric-plantlike patterning, on which is situated a rather large (approx. 27" long, unknown height), bright yellow "Peep"-brand plush stuffed-animal bunny. In front of this object, near the center of the photograph's second quadrant, one can just make out a 3" x 3" dreamy-seascape painting by Tisha Mark (www.tishamark.com).
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@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

Today's Low Quality Ad is for the Dracowave Microwave Cleaner. If you don't think it would be fun to have a cute little dragon hotboxing in your microwave then I simply do not want to be your friend.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0D5BKCKMG?ref=t_ac_view_request_product_image&campaignId=amzn1.campaign.14847L9NE18DW&linkCode=tr1&tag=connorstone06-20&linkId=amzn1.campaign.14847L9NE18DW_1749054605253

A green rubber dragon exhaling steam through its nostrils in front of a microwave.
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gilesforyou ,
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@lowqualityfacts Hotboxing, you say?

That gives fresh meaning to the phrase, "getting high on his own supply".

@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

Wow.

Mario and Luigi are Turkish, but most people assume the fictional brothers are Italian because they are racist.
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gilesforyou ,
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@lowqualityfacts This is unclear: are you saying people presume the brothers are Italian because those people are racist, or that people presume the brothers are Italian because the brothers are racist?

@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

Wise words from a wise man.

Buddha said enlightenment could only be attained by successfully pulling of the perfect crime.
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gilesforyou ,
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@lowqualityfacts Different translations of the original text have sometimes, instead, used the word "heist".

@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

So sad.

The dodo was hunted to extinction because people believed the bird's beak could cure illiteracy.
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gilesforyou ,
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@lowqualityfacts All told, that's perhaps the best reason I've seen for hunting something to extinction.

@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

Very impressive.

It only took Tolstoy three days to write War and Peace.
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gilesforyou ,
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@lowqualityfacts Though it took him three years to convince Mrs Tolstoy to read his first draft.

@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

It's because of gravity. And the Earth's magnetic field. And the moon.

Toilets north of the Equator flush counterclockwise, and toilets south of the Equator are unable to flush at all
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gilesforyou ,
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@lowqualityfacts Not even in Rand-McNally?

@Daojoan@mastodon.social avatar Daojoan , to random

I think your ex understood you the right amount

A social media post from “The ChatGPT Compass” with the handle @chatgptcompass. The text reads: “I MADE CHATGPT THINK LIKE A PSYCHOLOGIST. NOW IT UNDERSTANDS ME BETTER THAN MY EX. COPY THESE 6 PROMPTS:”
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gilesforyou ,
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@Daojoan I observe his fancy-shmancy doo-dad couldn't stop him from proffering a self-own.

@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

That makes sense.

Diet Coke contains more calories than regular Coke, because the Coca-cola Company fears the drink would stop selling if its consumers lost weight.
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gilesforyou ,
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@lowqualityfacts I miss Tab.

It tasted right between Diet, and Classic, and it had the quintessential '80s can colour.

@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

Today's Low Quality Ad is for the Philips Rechargeable Tactical Flashlight, on sale for 59% off.
Look, I'm not saying you NEED a tactical flashlight. But if someone asks you if your flashlight is tactical and you have to say no, you're gonna feel like such an idiot.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DFC9YJWV?ref=t_ac_view_request_product_image&campaignId=amzn1.campaign.39MM1ZFB1QBCY&linkCode=tr1&tag=connorstone06-20&linkId=amzn1.campaign.39MM1ZFB1QBCY_1745593669772

A Black flashlight. It is shown lighting leaves on fire.
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gilesforyou ,
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@lowqualityfacts I believe it is upon every one of us to work toward a society wherein our flashlights need not be tactical.

@Daojoan@mastodon.social avatar Daojoan , to random

The internet didn’t make us stupid. It made stupidity scalable.

gilesforyou ,
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@Daojoan The stupidest thing Intelligence ever did was not fashion itself the path of least resistance.

@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Godzilla Throw Blanket. Did you know that Godzilla is actually a metaphor for the agricultural revolution? A lot of people don't pick up on that.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B097CB8L1H?ref=t_ac_view_request_product_image&campaignId=amzn1.campaign.32MFLP9TBS14O&linkCode=tr1&tag=connorstone06-20&linkId=amzn1.campaign.32MFLP9TBS14O_1744733868609

A blanket on a couch, it has designs from Godzilla movie posters on it.
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gilesforyou ,
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@lowqualityfacts As with most storytelling, the real Godzilla are the friends we made along the way.

@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

Today's Low Quality Ad is for Alpha Grillers Meat Claws, on sale for 44% off. I'll be honest with you. I don't even own a grill, I'm just gonna pretend to be Wolverine with these.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09J746BHB?ref=t_ac_view_request_product_image&campaignId=amzn1.campaign.I8K33MS00HG&linkCode=tr1&tag=connorstone06-20&linkId=amzn1.campaign.I8K33MS00HG_1743352290144

Black claws used to shred meat.
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gilesforyou ,
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@lowqualityfacts That suggests your more confident in yourself than their target audience.

Nice job.

@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

Today's Low Quality Ad is for the Greenworks Cordless Lawn Mower, on sale for 25% off. It runs on batteries, like a Cybertruck. But it's not held together with shoddy glue. And rain won't destroy it. And its CEO isn't a big manchild that does Nazi salutes.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B09SY912MK?ref=t_ac_view_request_product_image&campaignId=amzn1.campaign.2KQ0QLUKDZFLD&linkCode=tr1&tag=connorstone06-20&linkId=amzn1.campaign.2KQ0QLUKDZFLD_1743177312015

A green and black Lawn mower.
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gilesforyou ,
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@lowqualityfacts It is heartening that the Van Greenworks family had a long history of defying the Nazi occupiers in their home country of the Netherlands.

@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

I love whales.

A group of is called a whoopie whales
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gilesforyou ,
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@lowqualityfacts Whoopie Pies were all the rage in late-19th-century port towns.

@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

That's surprisingly progressive.

Ecstasy is legal in Alabama.
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gilesforyou ,
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@lowqualityfacts They don't call it "Ala-Rave Scene-bama" for nothing.

@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

Looks like Reddit has discovered Low Quality Facts.

Low Quality Fact that says Daniel Radcliffe has pledged to only accept acting roles that will confuse and upset Harry Potter fans.

Low Quality Fact that says Daniel Radcliffe has pledged to only accept acting roles that will confuse and upset Harry Potter fans.
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gilesforyou ,
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@lowqualityfacts Next stop: Carnegie Hall.

@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

A true innovator.

Thomas Edison invented pornography.
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gilesforyou ,
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@lowqualityfacts 'Course, it was all wax-cylinder pornography back in his day.

@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

I wouldn't know how to survive without my fax machine.

Fax is by far the most popular method of communication.
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gilesforyou ,
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@lowqualityfacts Realtors, pharmacies, and doctors' offices agree with you.

@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

That blows my mind.

Fiona Apple has never eaten an actual apple.
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gilesforyou ,
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@lowqualityfacts She's kept mum on whether or not she's eaten a Fiona.

@GetCarter@mastodonapp.uk avatar GetCarter , to random

Insert caption here.

Dozens of sheep blocking the road and staring at the camera.
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gilesforyou ,
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@GetCarter FOR SPARTA!!!

@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

We made a comic about calculus.

Child: Math class is so pointless, when am I ever gonna need to know calculus? Parent: You don't study calculus in school to learn calculus. You study calculus in school to learn that life is cruel and unfair.
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gilesforyou ,
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@lowqualityfacts I'll go you one further: like life, Calculus doesn't care enough to even be cruel.

It's just There.

@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

And he met his second wife on Bumble.

The founder of Match.com met his wife on Tinder.
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gilesforyou ,
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@lowqualityfacts Not to mention the "very good friend" he met on Grindr.

@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

Damn them.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

Yodelers are responsible for 99% of all avalanches.
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gilesforyou ,
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@lowqualityfacts I saw the snow needs to chillax and stop rising to the provocation.

If it stops avalanching, they'll stop yodeling.

@arstechnica@mastodon.social avatar arstechnica , to random

Larry Finger, Linux wireless hero, was a persistent, patient coder and mentor

Remembering Finger, 84, who learned as he went and left his mark on many.

https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2024/06/larry-finger-linux-wireless-hero-was-a-persistent-patient-coder-and-mentor/?utm_brand=arstechnica&utm_social-type=owned&utm_source=mastodon&utm_medium=social

gilesforyou ,
@gilesforyou@mastodon.coffee avatar

@arstechnica
Larry Finger:
He's the man, the man with the programmer's touch—
the Linux touch.
Such a bold Finger
beckons you to enter his source code,
and you should go...

@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

Celebrities are weird.

"Any day can be Christmas when you're famous. I just ask for presents and some dipshit puts them under my tree." -Gwyneth Paltrow
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gilesforyou ,
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@lowqualityfacts Some are.

This one, however, comes across more as "enterprising".

@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

Hey look, it's the first comic we ever made.

1 Scientist: Antarctica just hit 65 degrees. This is a catastrophe. 2 Me: Yeah seriously, it's that tricky temperature where you'll be too cold in a tshirt but uncomfortably hot with a sweatshirt. 3 Scientist: … 4 Me: Oh right, and because we're all gonna die.
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gilesforyou ,
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@lowqualityfacts They're both ignoring the fact that a long-sleeved, collared shirt & tie is perfect coverage for 65º.