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bimmer

@[email protected]

software dev • huge nerd • certified shitposter • socialist • car enthusiast • ally • non-practicing white person

@me with pics of your cat or I'll cry

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@bimmer@beige.party avatar bimmer , to random

context? in this economy??? let's be realistic here

wordcloud in a comfy cursive font made from a slough of my recent posts including but limited to the words fettucineverse, penishole, efffefcbefbeafffffef, perineum, wine, glass, hex, & str
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@bimmer@beige.party avatar bimmer , to random

Fettucineverse

@bimmer@beige.party avatar bimmer , to random

Miso - Destroyer of blinds; Confuser of himself; Scremer in the absolute; Sharer of the Single Orange Cat Braincell in proportion to his degree of orangeness; Stealer of my heart with his icy blue eyes

In this shot he's just staring intently
In this shot he has turned around to sniff his surroundings, pretending he meant to be stuck in the blinds
In this shot he has turned back to the camera with a very signature concerned look on He Miso face

In this shot he has turned back to the camera with a very signature concerned look on He Miso face
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@Codeberg@social.anoxinon.de avatar Codeberg , to random

The first thing that people see when visiting https://codeberg.org is the following: "Software development, but free!"

However, projects hosted on Codeberg are not necessarily by developers of software—on the other hand, deciding on a new slogan can be difficult and contentious, as first impressions really matter (and there's not a lot of space there).

So, one of the people controlling the social media account decided to ask the fediverse: Any good ideas?

Cropped screenshot of the Codeberg homepage, but the header "Software development, but free!" has been replaced with "insert another catchy slogan here", modified using Firefox's Inspect Element feature. The screenshot intends to illustrate where such a new slogan would go. The description beneath the header, "Codeberg is a non-profit, community-led effort that provides services to free and open-source projects, such as Git hosting (using Forgejo), Pages, CI/CD and a Weblate instance.", has not been modified.
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bimmer ,
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@Codeberg Why not Codeberg?

@bimmer@beige.party avatar bimmer , to random

Let Them Eat Ass

@bimmer@beige.party avatar bimmer , to random

you awake suddenly to flashing lights and sirens. still groggy, you clamber from your bed, spill into the hallway, and dust off the nearest console.

∆ RESERVE POWER: 28%
∆ COORDINATES: NaN
∆ CREW_STATUS: E
∆ SURROUNDINGS:
∆ × unk nebula .4LY _AFT
∆ × unk black_hole 73LY PORT
∆ × distress_beacon 1587KM STBD
∆ ENCODING: unk/unicode
∆ AFFILIATION: unk
∆ HULL_TYPE: unk

now wide awake and confused, you acknowledge the alarm and try to reach your crewmates through your communicator, but there is silence. for hours, you search your deck, your section, the common areas, the airlocks, the bridge, and even the captain's quarters and find no traces whatsoever of anyone else aboard. the escape pods are all present and still sealed.

frustrated, you make your way to the hangars and prepare a shuttle for takeoff. the shuttle's terminal reminds you that setting out without authorization will immediately trigger an investigation and any wrongdoing carries a steep penalty. you roll your eyes, sigh, and type 'sudo takeoff -fautopilot'.

the shuttle's engines thrum, and the hangar doors shudder slowly heaving open into the cold quiet maw of the abyss. you've little to lose and your curiosity has gotten the better of you. you are 89% certain that the distress signal you saw could be a lead on vital information, but what did 'unicode' mean?

several minutes pass while contemplating the sloppy signal, and the source of the beacon comes into view. the vessel is surrounded by what appears to be tens of thousands of rudimentary mirrors attached to thrusters and a myriad of smaller units. nearly all of them appear to have collided with another at some point and the few that remain appear to be repeating the same signal amongst themselves ad infinitum. the shuttle's computer is unable to identify the origin of the ship. you find its visage uncanny, maybe even unsettling. its hull is a dull grey and bears only an unintelligible radial ovoid emblem somewhat reminiscent of biological morphology.

drawing closer, you can see an open hangar barely able to accommodate your shuttle. taking over the controls yourself, you land and hastily don an a life support suit. the abandoned ship's interior has no power and a thin atmosphere with zero humidity, no oxygen, and oppressively high concentrations of organic particulates. the corridors have signs in a language you have never seen and overbearing star-themed decor. you think you've made your way to the other side of the ship and notice a device floating near a hatch. it's tethered to the wall and covered with colorful switches and two sticks. intrigued, you grasp the device, and it fits your hands abnormally well. 'this must be a prehistoric human ship', you mutter to yourself as you attempt to discern the objects' purpose. you try pressing all of the buttons, entering ↑↑↓↓←→←→BA, when suddenly you hear a suble crash echoing in the distance. the hangar door creaks open but stops partway.

as you slide through the gap in the door, your headlamps reveal that this hangar's surfaces are coated in a dense sludge. you find two hairy and pulsating mounds nestled together between the airlock and what looks like some sort of pod-ish or train-like vehicle in decay. you scan the formation for bio or heat signatures, but your equipment can make nothing of it. you cautiously approach the unknown masses, closing the distance to just a few meters, when a cyst bubbles up amongst the fleshy sacs, bursts, spewing smoke, and from it emerges a bald man with glasses and a crazed look in his eyes. "I'm so glad you're here!", he exclaims as his body begins undulate and morph into an amorphous monstrosity.

'fuck fuck fuck - I thought CEOs were just an urban legend!' terrified, you turn around and activate your personal thrusters to flee. The creature gives chase, bellowing, "Finally, I have a new user to onboard into a new Microsoft 365 Copilot Premium subscription!". you're scrambling to squirm back through the hanger door, but in the chaos, your hand slips, and then only darkness

@bimmer@beige.party avatar bimmer , to random

no one said you can only be weird on fedi

@bimmer@beige.party avatar bimmer , to random
Inside of a train where the next stop reads 'slutstation' with the caption 'stop the train we're home'
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18+ @Binder@petrous.vislae.town avatar Binder , to random

🎶 At the late capitalism

Double crisis

Picture show

bimmer ,
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@bimmer@beige.party avatar bimmer , to random
Fluid dynamic aerodynamics analyses with the caption 'the jeep wrangler is less aerodynamic than a lobster'
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@bimmer@beige.party avatar bimmer , to random
@bimmer@beige.party avatar bimmer , to random

any thermometer can be a rectal thermometer

@bimmer@beige.party avatar bimmer , to random

crazy bread is just normal bread to me

@bimmer@beige.party avatar bimmer , to random

do not ask for whom the weewoo tolls

no, but why is there so many weewoos

@bimmer@beige.party avatar bimmer , to random

the clit will find you if you don't find it (threat)

@bimmer@beige.party avatar bimmer , to random

A Miso looking outside from on high

A flamepoint cat perched high up on a cat tree and laser focused on something out of frame
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