I just got back from a week of hanging out in the San Francisco Bay area. On one weekday afternoon I went by Borderlands Books, a remarkable 2000 square foot science fiction and fantasy bookstore that recently relocated to a neighborhood called The Mission District. When I lived in the Bay Area 10 years ago this neighborhood was a bit sketchy and was known for its Mexican gangs and punk rock dives. I was shocked last week to see how much The Mission had gentrified, especially Valenica St. where Borderlands is located. While gentrification-by-hipster isn't terribly interesting or unusual, the case of Valencia St. merits mentioning because there is an usually strong flavor of steampunk in the gentrification. Within a four or five block area I counted at least three shops devoted to selling steampunk lifestyle supplies. Animal skulls with bits of broken clocks glued to them. Brass steam pistol replicas. Glass and gear curios that look exciting but don't actually do anything. Lots of victorianish doodads and gewgaws. And vests, course.

During the week I was in the Bay Area (not jut Valencia St.) I saw a number of people walking around in public, in broad daylight, openly sporting steampunk accessories or complete outfits. Before this I had only seen this kind of thing at comic book and/or gaming conventions. I saw plenty of vests and highly manicured moustaches, which aren't unusual in some L.A. neighborhoods these days, but I also saw capes, clockwork goggles, petticoats, bodices, and so on. Costumes, really. While I'm not necessarily a huge steampunk fan, this whole thing is kind of interesting to me. In 20 years we have seen steampunk turn from a geeky niche literary trend into a street fashion. How in the world did this happen?

I'm kind of jealous, I must admit. When will MY favorite literary niche - weird space wizard fantasy - be able to break free from the underworld of rennies and roleplayers to get its turn in the fashion spotlight of wayward middle class youth? When will I be able to hang out at my favorite Orange County Korean Taco truck without feeling self-conscious about wearing wizard robes? I think I look quite dashing in a pointy cap. Maybe this new Conan movie will at least make it easier for me to spearhead fur loincloths as the next geek fashion trend.

By this morning everyone is undoubtedly aware of James' brilliant idea to use his hottest blog keyword combo hot elf chick to pimp their blogs.

This is funny timing, because over the last week I have been keeping notes on the weirdest Google search keywords that have resulted in people finding my blog. Yes - elf ork porn uncovered my blog for some mysterious soul out there in the world. Don't ask me why, because I've never written about my feelings on this topic. Here are this week's keyword winners grouped by theme:

NAUGHTY:
elf ork porn   (cool)
cyclopeatron porn   (I'm flattered)
trent foster porn   (Another L.A. DM making naughty movies, eh?)
kitten raping clown demon
necro babe
limp hammer
3d tits   (Definitely better than 2d tits)
tits anaglyph

TATTOOS:
wizard castle tattoos   (Awesome - I want one of these)
happyclown tattoo  (I'll pass...)

MYSTERIES I CAN'T HELP WITH:
are there any tunnels on venus
how to identify water mycelium
the cost of cotton in 1840   (I hope this person enjoyed Cyclopeatron) 
80s fashion jcpenney    (Must be my new Arnesonian eyeglass frames) 
thought tunnel task sheet   (Sounds like an excellent gaming aide)

OBESITY EPIDEMIC:
fat larper
fat wizard  (This one has popped up twice this week)

GAME NERDZ:
half orc larp  (A result of human + orc larp gone to far?) 
larp hammer
dices my precious

Not long ago I was at a dinner party with some academic colleagues. Because many academics fancy themselves gourmets we strayed to the topic of sharpening fine cutlery. The hostess mentioned that down the street there was a guy whose hobby is sharpening knives. In fact, every weekend you can see him in his garage sharpening things.

She said "Yeah, he's really weird. He probably plays Dungeons & Dragons."

This was such a perfectly timed comment because no less then four of us in that room full of wine-sipping university professors play D&D together regularly. I guess we just don't really advertise the fact at work that we like to pretend we're goblin-fighting wizards while we sip our wine. I just stayed quiet, concerned that my secret life as a "dungeon master" might be revealed before I go up for tenure.

After a moment the geologist in the room spoke up and said "Hey! We play Dungeons & Dragons!"

The hostess smiled and said something like "Ohh.. Hah hah. Hummm..."

Who "we" referred to remained vague. I stayed quiet, just sipping my wine, while the conversation moved on. I guess it's still a mystery around here, then, who's rolling d20s in the closet... and who their master is...

I kind of thought my Gamma World Mutants of Metal setting was slightly original. It turns out I was totally fooling myself. Troy Z. sent me a link to this footage of national treasure John Thor fighting Satan in the rare 1987 movie Rock 'n' Roll Nightmare:



Here are some awesome clips representing other aspects of Thor's career. Talk about 18 STR coupled with various mental mutations...

"Is this a band of heavy metal music? How about I do some metal bending?" he asks during a concert just before... bending metal:



A moustachioed Thor uses oral gas generation to explode a hot water bottle on the Merv Griffin show: