I am obviously not saying people should be exploited, I am saying given the current conditions, one shouldn’t force themselves to be miserable, ashamed because they don’t physically have tons of money in the bank, or owe money, or whatever – if you are “”““just making ends meet””“” [a phrase that basically means, getting an A or B on the test of paying all your necessarily bills etc], it is as though you are expected, DEMANDED to vaguely feel like shit every day you’re not Wolf of Wall Street.
I am obviously not saying either that it isn’t a bummer i can’t buy a telescope or book a cruise right now. If you watch commercials, everyone lives in a damn magazine, and that’s probably not good for the psyche to see.
I am speaking broadly of the gray shroud that regularly having <$20 in the bank feels like it casts upon us: it is literally fake. to paraphrase karl pilkington, money is just something you have in case you don’t die tomorrow. your bank account is a pane in the settings screen, not a constant HUD.
Many with good intentions denote it as being a miserable, thankless, deprived way of life - and sure yeah, in a sense. I am trying to not make the boring point about ‘happiness is possible anytime’ ‘who cares about concert tickets’ ‘they make it seem miserable to sell doordash’ etc but – I noticed myself just instinctively literally physically hanging my head the other day - because I was thinking about how I wanted to buy a thing. Which is insane? Why should I feel like shit about that?
The story we tell ourselves about what our currency management MEANS about ourselves – about EVERY FIBER of EVERY MOOD, at times – is ARTIFICIAL. I was moping around a lil tonight because, seemingly, I wasn’t living in a resort. That is an INSANE standard to have for yourself. (You can shift into the lens of letting yourself feel things like you are in a resort, however.)
It’s not that Capital encourages it. There’s a saying I’ve heard where, everyone is one medical emergency or one car repair away from being kicked to the streets. That’s the reality of nearly everyone’s lives who has been pushed to paycheck to paycheck. The only ones who’re not complaining and don’t have to deal with this, are those well-off who can afford going to hospitals and can afford to have their vehicles repaired over anything.
Life has a tendency to have unforeseen consequences and unforeseen expectations. I mean, it is NOT fun to run out of your essentials where you’re hoping for a lucky break, just so you can afford them, for just another week or two. It is NOT fun to basically eat the same stuff, over and over, because it’s all you can afford. When, you just want to taste something different, just something different for once to have a little variety.
You can never be completely comfortable. Even if you’ve caught up on said essentials, you’re always worrying about for how long.
Hovering my foot several inches above a live bear trap is also not being in the bear trap.
You better believe I’m keeping my focus on not stepping down on it, and it will be unpleasant to constantly think about it and micromanage not stepping down. My foot is not caught, the bear trap isn’t “real” or “really hurting my foot”, yet this still takes a real toll.
The problem with living paycheck to paycheck isn’t that you can’t book cruises. It is that you have zero security. If something breaks, you can’t repair it. If you lose your job, you’re on the street. If things get any more expensive, you are skipping meals.
You know how I know times are really bad? When I was younger, the scams they’d send to your email was some nigerian prince who wanted to give you a million dollars.
These days the scams they send to emails are “Hwy, we have a totally real full time job with benefits! Oooohhhhh, benefits! Click here.”
You think I am miserable becsuse I can’t have filet mignon and lobster tail every night?
I am miserable because I can only afford rice and beans for tbe forseeable future. I want some fucking MEAT and green vegetables or fruit. 😬
If you live paycheck to paycheck, that means that you can eat cheap food and ideally pay your bills. If something breaks, it will stay broken. If food prices go up, you’ll get hungry. If you cannot pay rent, you’ll become homeless in certain parts of the world. It gets worse if you have kids.
The result: constant stress which will remain with you for the rest of your life, even if your situation gets better.
If you can read Dutch, try to find the book by the Flemish journalist Tim 's-Jongers (apologies if I spelled his name wrong). He wrote a very poignant book on how it is to be poor and what it did to his mental state, even if he has a stable income at the moment. I am not sure whether that book was translated into English.
It’s the lack of perspective and purpose that makes people miserable. If you been deep in a constant river of shit, it’s hard to think there may be something else out there.
