They should have had one that follows Neelix as he’s writing a recipe for Leola root stew.

The background is that the ship is crossing some sort of expanse, in which they found an anomaly that damaged the ship. The galley is open to vacuum and fully cordoned off. Replicators are disabled as they need every ounce of power to get across. Emergency rations are running out.

Fortunately, Neelix had stockpiled leola root from one of his last adventures. The crew are forced to prepare the leola root as best they can in their own quarters, but leola is barely palatable in the hands of a master chef with lots of experience cooking with the root.

Neelix and the officers are waiting in the ready room, with officers bemoaning their situation when Tom characterizes their plight by stating, “Oh what I wouldn’t give for a bowl of Neelix’s Leola root stew.” Chakotay interjects saying, “Wait a minute Tom, you might be on to something. Neelix, how long will it take you to release a recipe that’ll enable the crew to emulate your recipe?”

Then the episode is just following Neelix as he types in his quarters about his entire history with each ingredient of the stew, why it’s important, how it works, and what experiences led him to that knowledge. We’re flashing back and forth between him writing and his entire life experience with the stew and it’s components. After he puts the finishing touches on, he proudly and emphatically taps the screen to submit it to the crew.

The reception isn’t great. In Harry’s quarters, Harry and Tom sit surrounded by ingredients and cooking implements, frustratedly scrolling through the book-long narrative that was supposed to be a recipe. “Arrrgh. C’mon! Why are they always like this? I don’t need their life story. I just want a recipe!” Harry Kim says, exasperated.

Suddenly, there’s an overhead call for all crew to take their stations. The ship has encountered a small, uninhabited system with vast reserves of energy. They work around the clock to harvest and store the new energetic material, colloquially becoming known as “energon pods” among the crew. Each one is about the same mass and volume as a leola root and contains enough energy to replicate about 10 times as many leola roots, if someone wanted to do that for some reason.

Having done the math, the captain breaks the news to Neelix: voyager will be jettisoning the holds of leola root to make room for more energon pods. Neelix protests. Tuvock, in his usual, supercillious manner, chides Neelix with “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one.” Chakotay tries to help him laugh it off but comes across as too smug, “I guess we won’t be needing that recipe after all.”

Neelix watches helplessly from a cargo bay as crates of leola root float off into deep space. He furrows his brow and storms off to his quarters. Furiously, he deletes his article and recipe line by line. He could just delete the whole thing, but the process is the point. Eventually, it’s gone, unrecoverable.

The ship surges off into the expanse, back on course. Suddenly, they’re hailed. It’s another ship claiming jurisdiction over the region, demanding the return of the energon pods. Not wanting to lose it’s prize, voyager carries on, the smaller slower ship being left behind, it’s tiny weapons effortlessly handled by voyager’s sheilds. The small ship lets out a distress call which is ignored by Voyager.

That is, until they find themselves facing an armada of several superiorly-armed ships several times the size of Voyager. Their admiral hails. In the back-and-forth we learn that the crew of voyager harvested the young of an endangered species, that’s also highly intelligent and a national symbol, kind of like a california condor, african grey parrot, and bald eagle all rolled into one.

The armada boards Voyager and holds the crew until they can stand trial. They take the energon pods, which are no longer reproductively viable, due to inadequate storage conditions, and bury them in a particularly solemn national ceremony. The crew are imprisoned and forced to work off their debt until the alien nation releases them and their ship, a little worse off than when they started and minus the leola root.

Hobbling along, Voyager picks up something on its scanners, crates full of leola root. They had drifted and lapped the ship while the crew was in prison. They take in the crates. The vacuum of space has preserved them somewhat, but they’re a little worse for the wear from ionization. “I guess we’ll be needing that recipe after all” Janeway says, gently putting her hand on Neelix’s shoulder before walking away.

Smash cut to a profile shot of Neelix sitting in his quarters. All is dark but the window showing a field of stars that outline his silhouette. The camera pans to show the shadow of a noose hanging in the room. His doorbell chimes. “Come in” he rasps. Tom Paris as chipper as ever, strides in. “Our isoelectric relays are close to overloading with all the cooking in crew quarters lately. Harry mentioned you might have some extra conduit lying arou- oh, hey! There it is! Nice of you to bundle it and hang it up for me. Cheers!” He gestured his thanks by saluting with the noose before skipping out of Neelix’s quarters.

With a groan, Neelix puts his face in his hands. Cut to a view of Neelix from outside Voyager. Dolly and zoom out until he’s just a point on the grid of windows along Voyager’s hull. Roll credits.

Anyway, that’s my idea for a worst episode.