Tbh, I donāt really want to be in a relationship with anyone whose standards are low enough to like me. Guess Iāll be alone forever. š«”
Thatās some Groucho Marx level shit, I hope you get better.
Thatās definitely an accurate analysis of your troubles, I hope you get worse.
Thatās some shit, I hope.
Thatās some self-sabotage shit, I hope you get better.
Thatās some toxic self-hatred level shit, I hope you get better.
Thatās some low self esteem shit, I hope you get better.
Same, like I have options but I just donāt want to settle for the kind of girl whoās willing to settle for me. Iām not lonely though and enjoy being free to do whatever I want all the time so itās whatever.
Turn the world into your dance floor
Thatās some incel level shit, I hope you get better.
I donāt hate myself at all, but I honestly donāt see how my spouse manages to not just like me, but actually have me as his partner. Itās so weird, Iād go crazy if I had to live with me.
My wife says the same thing. I hate it. I want her to love herself as much as I do and I wish she could see how beautiful she is in my eyes.
I am sure your spouse also wants you to love yourself as he does and for you to see the beauty he sees.
We all want to make our partners happy and loving yourself that way might possibly the happiest you can be.
Iāve seen some of the most terrible people inaginable manage to find themselves in a relationship. There really is someone for everyone
There was this one dude I met at an event, literally would hit on every single conventionally attractive woman he encountered. If he was sitting in a space with multiple women heād hit on one woman for a bit then realize heās not getting anywhere and turn and start hitting on the next woman as if she didnāt just witness him hitting on 3 other women before moving onto her. Personality of soggy cardboard that constantly tries to cheat on you. Yeah he had a girlfriend while this was all going on. I got to hear him have half-ass phone sex where he both called her ābabyā and āmommyā within 2 sentences. Then that evening he cheated on her with a friend of a friend who Iād really hoped had better standards than that.
Point is, if a dude who literally repells everyone around him the moment he opens his mouth (and he doesnāt stop opening his mouth) can get in a relationship, you can too.
no.
I hope the OP is 16, this is incel sadposting
Is it?
I thought it was straight people problems. I.e. Iām not attracted to men so I donāt understand why women like me. But they do shrug
No u
See I can only think up to āif I was a girlā before being completely derailed into other thoughts from there :3
At some point, self-hatred is just masturbation.
I tried both but it just doesnāt compare.
You might be whacking off wrong.
In my case itās a paradox. If I meet someone I like we wonāt have much in commom because people that have things in commom with me and that would be great company to me are not out there meeting people, like Iām not also. Itās lile my āprince charmingā exists but WFH, donāt like to go out and just watch horror movies, cute puppy videos and eat cheese
Itās the damndest thing.
When you work on yourself, like yourself, and invest in your interests, women are more attracted to you.
Like. The easiest way to trick people into liking you is to be a good person. And then one day youāre like: hey, I canāt believe this is working, tenting your fingers, and you canāt think of anything youāve done in a decade that you hate yourself for and youāre like: holy shit, AM I a good person?
There are qualities about myself that I really like to be present in the people in my life (including my wife, and previous partners Iāve had): smart, empathetic, funny, fun, interesting, charismatic, confident.
There are also qualities in myself that I need to actively rely on others in my life to help me mitigate, and that I donāt like to bring into my own life: disorganized, absent minded, easily distracted. I like for the people in my life to be the opposite. Also in terms of physical attraction I am a man who is attracted to women, so I want the āoppositeā of myself in that respect, too.
And there are qualities that I donāt have, that I really like for my partner to have: kind, emotionally supportive, spontaneous.
There are qualities about myself that I donāt much care one way or another whether my partners or my friends have: extroverted, athletic, technically minded.
And when talking about actual interests and hobbies and background and experience and knowledge, thereās a lot that I like to see that are true of myself, and a lot that I like to see that arenāt true of myself.
Ultimately, a partner is going to have some overlapping things with yourself, some differences, and the question you have to ask yourself is whether youāre a good fit for each other. That answer is going to depend a lot on different things.
If you are not kind or emotionally supportive you a) have no right to expect the same from a partner and b) probably shouldnāt have one.
A partnership requires emotional support from both partners. To expect this to go one way is fucked up.
Nope, I reject the idea that only emotionally supportive people are deserving of love. These arenāt binary traits, and many of arenāt as good at providing comfort in emotional situations for our own reasons:
- People who are themselves easily affected emotionally may not have it in themselves to step up right in the moments where someone else might need it.
- People who struggle a bit to respond with the same emotions as others might tend to be less able to provide emotional support for someone experiencing a thing they canāt relate with.
- To borrow from the love languages concept, some people provide support in ways that arenāt easily understood as such by the recipient. Perhaps more importantly, not everyone who gives love in a particular way prefers to receive love in that particular way.
I know Iām good at providing encouragement when things are going well (gunning for a promotion, trying to win a sporting competition, trying out stand up comedy for the first time), while being less able to provide emotional support when things are sad for other people (death of loved one, illness, other loss, plain old anxiety or depression). Iāll try to make it up with the other stuff (mostly doing things for people, sometimes just being present), but Iām not going to pretend that Iām actually a shoulder that anyone would choose to cry on. And yet I have enriching and fulfilling relationships with plenty of friends, family, and a wife who doesnāt actually ask that of me, who knew this about me long before we got married, and occasionally joked about my robotic ways. Our kids go to her when they want to cry about something, and they come to me when they want me to take some action that would alleviate the issue that made them sad in the first place (first aid, fixing broken shit, simply being hungry). Iād go as far as to say we make a great team and family unit.
I am who I am, and I still deserve (and receive) love. I think the way you look at things is too narrow and would condemn like the 75% of people who are bad at this stuff to a life forever alone, which is not very reasonable or empathetic of you.
Of course you wouldnāt, gender is a only a social construct. I hate all sorts of people and Iād hate them all the same as a girl.
Be someone you want to date. Then date yourself. I hear of a beautiful pool that nobody but me seems to really see the beauty in
Get out of my room mom!!!
And just how high are you right now?
5ā5
Be someone you want to date.
Got myself some big floppy boobs, now what
Hey, thatās me! š«¶
Us bro usš«
If you donāt like yourself itās because you arenāt your type but you are definitely someone elseās type. This doesnāt mean there isnāt room for self improvement to increase your chances of falling in someoneās range.
Just being confident about who you are rather putting yourself down goes along way. Though you could argue that being a pessimist is part of your personality but the only people you will attract will be those trying to fix you.
People are able to change. Be the best version of yourself and someone will take notice.
āIām 12 and this is deepā would be a nice subreddit for this crap bordering incel-dogma.
Sorry, but everyone (except pedos, murderers and the likes) deserves to be loved. There is no international norm nor measure of love-worthyness. And it surely wouldnāt be defined by your face, your income, your schlongsize, your height or your whatever.
Just because there are legions of ugly (inside) people who define your worth based solely on above mentioned criteria, doesnāt mean there arenāt solid people out there who donāt. It just gets tiresome, sorting out the bad raisins. And if youāre absolutely adamant that youāre ugly inside too (which is probably just the work of others): be the change you want to see in this world, or be a pussy and give up.
Stop frequenting sites/people who pamper your already skewed worldview and drag you deeper into THEIR voidā¦avoid toxic people by all means. No matter who they are.
Crashing out in a shitpost š
I have the time to do this and it surely couldnāt hurt OP more than others did. And it made an intellectually superior being, like you, have fun. Well worth my time š
Is there any chance, loooong shot I know, that OP was using his meme to criticize the very mentality that you did?
But in the same comment you said āeveryone deserves to be lovedā and ā[everyone should] avoid toxic peopleā. That doesnāt follow.
Everyone with exceptions. Add people who are toxic to others to that exceptions. Or try to flood them with love in hope to cure their toxicity. Your choice.
And surely itās not just black and white but gradual. You might be mildly toxic due to other toxic people and just havenāt reflected enough yet. Or you might be a cesspool of hate and poison, way beyond the point of possible repair.
I surely canāt fit all this into a simple formula. Itās a general guideline. And if itās shit to you then just ignore and make up your own š
But once you add any exceptions, itās no longer āeveryoneā, excluding a good chunk of the population and, for example, the guy in the meme might be from your exception list.
Yeah sure, I forgot everything is binary. My bad.
Not the guy youāre replying to but the first half of your argument is silly. If I said āEveryone on Lemmy likes Star Trek.ā, would you still demand that every exception be named or would you understand that I was talking in generalities?
I understand that you mean Iām being unnecessarily pedantic, but I feel like in this particular case āeverybodyā actually has to mean everybody, or else the whole point is moot. Thereās very little value in saying āsome people deserve loveā or even āmost people deserve loveā.
No u
