Following a brazen daylight heist of the French crown jewels from the Louvre, French authorities have declared no charges will be laid, citing the country’s “Trop Cool Pour Être Un Crime” (“Too Cool to be Crime”) law.

On Sunday, four thieves carried out a highly professional and wicked daylight raid on the famed museum, very awesomely disguising themselves as maintenance workers and running off with eight pieces of priceless historic jewellery like it was nothing. Eyewitnesses then report, if you can believe it, that the objectively badass thieves used a truck with a basket lift to access the second floor, before donning balaclavas and fleeing the scene on motorcycles. […]