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He tried to help out the underground railroad but he was too slow.
It was a different time
I鈥檓 sure the tortoise would say the same back to Lil Nas x.
I really enjoy lil Nas X鈥檚 sense of humour.
I think he鈥檚 still on his way to join the raid on area 51.
The front of his shell just kind of grinds along the ground when he鈥檚 in his full Naruto run.
If we dig through Jonathan鈥檚 social media posts, guaranteed there is something problematic.
All I鈥檓 gonna say is don鈥檛 read up on his opinions of turtles
Not that the world鈥檚 oldest and largest tortoises are horrible turtle-racists against the pleb species or anything.
If he was born in 1836 it only took him 25 years to manipulate America from across an ocean to fight a war to end slavery .
Don鈥檛 see how he could have done much better than that.
He鈥檚 ~191 now Jonathan_(tortoise)
Doesn鈥檛 look a day over 150
Jonathan was like, get those n-words in the field.
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Lil bro killed the devil, what the fuck have you done?
TBF he looks pretty depressed about it so perhaps he regrets it now
I read somewhere that Lincoln said the tortoise would find him and whisper secrets. Wait maybe it wasn鈥檛 Lincoln, but still. Leave the tortoise in the chamber of secrets.
Holy shit, I can鈥檛 believe what he鈥檚 done, here鈥檚 a thread of his other sins!
OMG a hit tweet, here鈥檚 my podcast, watch [show], please follow [creator]!
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I reckon he might have been joking to be honest
