• phorq@lemmy.ml
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    6 months ago

    This has what romance readers crave, it’s got elEctrolYtes!

    • I_Fart_Glitter
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      6 months ago

      A friend of mine actually has glacier freeze colored eyes. We were on a psychedelic adventure and I got it in my head that I NEEDED to taste his eyeballs. He finally let me and I was extremely disappointed that they just tasted like eyeball, not Gatorade.

      • merari42OP
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        6 months ago

        Is the Mind-Altering substance you and your friends were consuming spice? It is known to lead to blue eyeballs.

  • Death_Equity
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    6 months ago

    This was written by a guy who had nothing but sports for a career path that got an injury which meant they would never go pro and they had to switch majors to literature, thinking that writing is “hella easy bro”.

  • tetris11@lemmy.ml
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    6 months ago

    He pepsied over to her, shooting her a cool fanta glance that she avoided chester cheeterly. “Why won’t you look at me?” he lionbarred, his lips trembling like coco pops. “I… I… just caan’t!” she freddied, clear salty caramel drops falling from her hershey eyes as she pulled out her magnum and starbursted into his chest, leaving three skittle shaped holes where his aero heart was. He slumped over, spilling vimto everywhere. Then a big wave of chocolate just, I dunno, sweeps everyone out into sea.

  • Postmortal_Pop
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    6 months ago

    Her eyes were the striking blue of glacier freeze. Accented by her cheeks, flushed as fruit punch. Her demeanor was mysterious, yet refreshing, like lemon lime on a hot summer day. Her dress the color of citrus cooler.

    Honestly it kind of works with the flavor names and less “like”. It’d be a great little joke to slide into something.

    • Hagdos
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      6 months ago

      The “kind of” is doing the heavy lifting here

  • Skullgrid
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    6 months ago

    the title is the best part of this post, great work OP

  • Ex Nummis
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    6 months ago

    When AI takes over content creation we’re going to see this unironically.

  • kamen
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    6 months ago

    “Her eyes were like stars. Not because they sparkled but because they were so far apart.”

  • MTK
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    6 months ago

    This would be a quote from a book in idiocracy if they knew how to read.

  • Yellow gatorade isnt mysterious… White gatorade is.

    Yellow gatorade is lemon. White gatorade can be literally anything. Sometimes it’s cherry, sometimes it’s grape, sometimes it tastes like Red and other times it tastes like Blue.