What in the actual hell happened to me?! I get bored from doing everything I liked to do. Drawing bores me. Crosswording bores me. Reading bores me.
And this isn’t “phone addiction”, because, yes, using my phone ALSO bores me.
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That’s one of the most insidious aspects of depression, really. It saps you of all energy to do anything joyful or to even just take care of yourself.
It seems backwards, but one of the only ways to really fight it is to force yourself into a “schedule” of things. Make sure you’re cleaning up your surroundings and taking good care of your personal hygiene. Make sure you’re eating at least relatively healthy meals. Make sure you’re making yourself do things that you used to enjoy, even if they currently bore you. At first, it feels pointless, because it feels like you’re just going through the motions, and in many ways, you are. But over time, just keeping yourself busy and making sure you have small, specific, easily achievable daily goals somehow ends up relieving the depression if only a little. So make sure you do some drawing every day. Make sure you do one crossword a day, even if you don’t finish it, just have a prescribed time limit for doing it in and stick to that. Same with reading, force yourself to read for an hour a day, even if you find yourself tired of it. You have to have the minimal goal of “I did this for the amount of time I set for myself, bare minimum.”
I know, it sounds stupid, I know it does. It feels stupid at first, too. I’ve had depression for decades, and it’s the only thing that consistently works to at bare minimum make life feel bearable and still worth living. Small, easily achievable daily goals that you consistently follow through on. I am at my worst when I am not doing my daily goals. It’s not always easy, either. Sometimes big draining, difficult events in life send me spinning and unable to achieve my daily goals, and that’s okay, because having depression isn’t easy. It can be so hard to start back up and pick up where you left off after life has kicked you while you’re down, but in the end, it still works.
It won’t make you happy, it won’t make you jump for joy, it won’t make your depression completely disappear, but it will make your day-to-day life something that you don’t dread as much. I promise. Good luck.
Good write up.
This is the way.
I like this. This is important because it gives you a sense of control. Making sure you look after yourself because you want to and not some external forces make you. So don’t do this because some internet folks deem this as a self help guide one should follow but because you have control and can decide to look after yourself. I also would like to add that it is perfectly fine to be bored. Instead of dreading boredom and resenting yourself try to embrace it. It also allows for your mind to process things in the background. A third point is to schedule activities in a day such that you start with those that are least exciting and progess to those more rewarding at later times. Doing things, with a phone for example, early on will prime your mind such that subsequent activities less engaging will feel dull.
It could be a number of things. Lack of dopamine or dopamine withdrawal can absolutely feel like this, especially if the boredom is paired with feeling restless.
Edit: sorry, I realised that this sounds like trivialising your experience and I absolutely did not intend to do that. I hope you find a path through this.
Talking about it is a great first step! Remember to get outside as often as you can. Sunshine doesn’t ‘cure’ depression but it makes it much more bearable. If you aren’t active this is a very good time to try setting a routine. Force your body to move! It’ll get easier after a few times and there isn’t much to lose except time.
Depression can also get you to stop drinking water or eaten decently healthy so keep that in mind. If you’re eating garbage your body will end up feeling like garbage.
I hope things get easier. This world can suck enough without a dark cloud over your head. All the best!
Yeah it’s a pretty shitty way to live. I know from experience.
