Not sure if this goes here, but you ever wake up and wonder if your the bad guy in your life? even if you have done like nothing wrong.
If you’ve never asked yourself this question you’re doing it wrong
An unexamined life isn’t worth living. ~ So-Crates
Are you kidding?! With the way the world has gone I have never felt more like a saint.
I think these thoughts are healthy and necessary, and exactly the kind of thoughts I like to have in the shower. It’s great to, as you’re waking up, reflect on the day before with a little bit of distance.
We all fuck up. Sometimes it takes another person pointing it out for us to realize it and apologize. But I find apologies are even more meaningful when the wrongdoer realizes it and apologizes on their own.
Lemmy seems obsessed with “good people” and “bad people”.
People are complicated and full of nuance.
Someone may have done something that wasn’t great for you, but does that make them “the bad guy”?
More likely their intentions actually pretty vanilla and the outcome was less than ideal due to pretty understandable reasons.
Yes, there are exceptions but you don’t encounter them often enough to worry about.
I think it’s also important to realize that there’s a difference between being hurt and being wronged. Sometimes someone can do something that hurts you but isn’t wrong, morally, ethically, or legally. It might even be the right thing (ie, breaking up a relationship if it just isn’t working out). It might hurt you, but it didn’t wrong you. And then some people wrong you, such as committing crimes against you, being abusive, or shitty to you, and that’s not ok.
Someone may have done something that wasn’t great for you, but does that make them “the bad guy”?
Yes?
More likely their intentions actually pretty vanilla and the outcome was less than ideal due to pretty understandable reasons.
People die from neglect. Should we not punish and rehabilitate those responsible despite whatever their intentions were?
I didnt say we shouldn’t punish people.
Emotional Abuse will get you thinking all sorts of things about yourself, even when there isn’t anything to it.
I constantly feel as though I’m a bad person. It’s my Catholic upbringing haunting me, mixed with my anxiety. I try to remind myself that I’m not awful as I think I am.
It’s gotten better for me as I age. Just learn to accept yourself, flaws and all. Try to talk to yourself the way you would talk to a friend having the same feelings.
Nope. Couldnt be me. Ive nevet been in the wrong ever in my life /jk jk
I answered that question with a yes a few times, and eventually quit my job over it. Much happier now. Self-reflection is good and worth it.
When I discovered that I am autistic, and probably have ADHD, I realised that I really had been the weird bad guy all my life.
I discovered it when I was an adult. But in my case it was the opposite, it was a “oh… so I wasn’t the bad guy, I was just being weird to them and they were being dicks about it”.
I discovered it when I was an adult
Me too, only a year or so ago. I’m 58
Yes, more when going to bed than waking up though.
Let me introduce you to “I’m The Villain In My Own Story”: https://youtu.be/UhzN7SfnNeY
From the excellent (though sometimes emotionally heavy) show Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. It’s certainly not the best song in the show, but the most relevant.
And in the artery to that vein, let me present “I’m A Good Person”: https://youtu.be/O4hh1YhDfbA
(Edited to clarify these are not the best songs in the show, there are better songs and in a wide variety of genres!)
I often think of myself as a fuckup, especially lately as I am unemployed.
But when I look at my life honestly and with open eyes, I know I am a decent person who has grown and tried to make up for my past wrongdoing.
And I don’t know that there is much else to ask from anyone except that alone, to continue to try to grow and be better in some ways.
I can always beat myself up with would’ves and could’ves, but I can’t redo.
The only chance I have to do things differently is now.
I don’t know if this counts, but I’ve reflected more on my past recently and realized that sometimes I was kind of a turd. Never egregiously so (I hope) but I was often regarded as the quiet nice kid and I think that led to me believing that and probably overlooking some of my less favorable moments or behaviors that people didn’t see as often. I don’t hate myself now or think I’m the villain or anything like that, it’s just been an interesting slow process of reflection as I’ve gotten older. It’s good to be honest with ourselves and realize everyone has their bad moments. We’re not only who we are on our worst day, but also our best, and all those in between
I did nearly daily untill I got my meds in line.
Bipolar is no joke.
Removed by mod
We all are the bad guy at some point but you always have the opportunity to let that go.
