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xenophora

@[email protected]

"A genus of gastropod mollusks comprising the carrier snails (coextensive w/the family Xenophoridae of suborder Taenioglossa)." She/her. 🔯 USA, & GenX, damn it all.

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@xenophora@mastodon.art avatar xenophora , to random

I suppose it’s not for me, a mere computer illiterate, to understand why the credit union needs to track my location before I even log on. You’re my credit union. Don’t you already KNOW my location? [sigh]

I was not made for modernity. At all.

@foundseed@spore.social avatar foundseed , to random

I could never run for office in this city I just don't like riding bicycles and that seems to be required

xenophora ,
@xenophora@mastodon.art avatar

@foundseed

What about rollerskates? The old fashioned kind, not the blades. 🧓

@xenophora@mastodon.art avatar xenophora , to random

Tried to watch some videos earlier about wedding-related disasters and Dear Lord— if I have to read or hear the phrase “girls’ girl” as a descriptor for grown-ass grownups one more time this year I’m gonna’ [redacted] myself with a [redacted].

@xenophora@mastodon.art avatar xenophora , to random
@xenophora@mastodon.art avatar xenophora , to random

Okay, I need your help, Techies.

Why is gmail sending me messages thanking me for helping them with Google Maps when I don't use Google Maps?

😵‍💫

(Yes, I know gmail is ass by assholes, but I'm stuck with it for now. It's not my main email, either.)

Thanks.

@xenophora@mastodon.art avatar xenophora , to random

"What a Tuesday, huh?"

"Captain, it's 7 AM."

[groan]

@xenophora@mastodon.art avatar xenophora , to random

Gawd. The MST3k stream is running The She Creature right now and as ever the "hero" is so punchable that I wish he was Mitchell!! 😫

If vocal fry was money that guy would've died a millionaire. lol

@xenophora@mastodon.art avatar xenophora , to random

"Time Alone 8"

Long horizontal rectangle with a rough orange and white surface. At center is a giant 1950s nautical-style mantle clock with a dark brown wood case. A faint landscape is viewable in the distance. A young 1950s man leans over the clock and gazes rightward at a "flying saucer made of a 1920s or 1930s Art Deco moonstone brooch. Some birds fly in the background beneath it. Trim: a camo-like strip of similar colors at the base and at the right.
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xenophora OP ,
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The rough little squares (made with the “Extrude” filter) are a bit like the mosaics of diced watercolor paper that my late Dad liked making. The woven Layer style sort of looks like his fine-grained ink strokes. Not that he would’ve approved of Photoshop, nor of any other thing I did. But oh, well. I planned none of that in advance. Only noticed after the pic was done. The subconscious goes where it pleases. I picked up those textures fair and square (!!!) and they’re mine now. :da_grin:

xenophora OP ,
@xenophora@mastodon.art avatar
Tall rectangle bordered in toothy light gray with embossed lighter gray spirals and twists. Center is very dark gray abstract of interlocked triangles and rectangles on a pebbly, asphalt or nighttime snowfall-like texture. The shapes all have thin white outlines. Two small copies of paired shadowy figures in snowsuits each walking away from the other. Trim: three circles each showing a pair of small, clapping hands. Plus three luminous black spheres with white spots. Four tiny round cabochon gems around the border.All these trim pieces are tinted in primary colors.
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    • xenophora OP ,
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    Alternate title: "Ode to your Xmas lights still up in January."

    :D

    xenophora OP ,
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    A tall light pink rectangle with a toothy texture. Chaotic, busy mix of very simple sunburst or floral shapes in different colors and sizes. The largest one is white and basically Ferris wheel-sized compared to the others. Heh. Two simple crab line drawings at upper right corner. A patch of thick yellow oil paint at the upper left, some glassy blue water near the center, and a 1950 simple line-drawn cityscape with clouds near the bottom. Trim: little round shapes like a button, a pearl, a dial, and two fancy floral plates. Also a tiny pink geometric drawing which echoes the shape of the crab pair, and a few bright colored lines. Text: "Visit us soon. All measurements are level."
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    • + Binder
    xenophora OP ,
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    Dare I repost the first two in this series? 🤔 ⌛

    @xenophora@mastodon.art avatar xenophora , to random

    Whoever approved the changed Mac charger-and-cord design wherein the heavy bundle thing is halfway up the cord instead of down near the actual plug…

    [sigh]

    To (mostly) quote , “May your corned beef never pickle correctly." Jerkass.

    @xenophora@mastodon.art avatar xenophora , to random

    It's great to go back to the beginning of my ipernity feed and note that a person really can improve their visual skills if they can just stay alive for the additional 20 years or so.

    I guess there IS something to being alive after all. :100awoo:

    xenophora OP ,
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    This in no way changes my plan to recycle a few of those old layouts in the coming year, secure in the knowledge that none of my 5-10 monthly visitors would look back that far anyway. :BlobCat_Evil:

    In fact, I kind of already recycled one, though it's not super-obvious and that newer picture hasn't garnered a single like. Which just urges me on to find the thing that would win everyone over if I just rehash it enough times. :blobfoxlaughsweat:

    @xenophora@mastodon.art avatar xenophora , to random

    I remembered to follow back two people on Ko-Fi who I forgot to follow back months ago. So HUZZAH a gold star for me!!11

    @whiskeysailor@sickos.lol avatar whiskeysailor , to random

    Musk favorite part of Bladerunner was when Bladerunner said "It's Blderunning time!"

    xenophora ,
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    @whiskeysailor

    Blädderdämmerunng 🎭

    @ansate@social.coop avatar ansate , to random

    my CSA gave me an actual pumpkin but for cooking with not for carving

    How do I get from gourd to pie or something? suggestions for what to do with it welcome!

    I assume that canned stuff is like someone cut up a pumpkin, roasted it, and scraped it out of the skin?

    I will also search, but I'm not sure how to explain to search engines that I mean "pumpkin, a gourd" not "a can of pumpkin"

    xenophora ,
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    @dnkboston @ansate

    There are those small melon knives which are kind of shaped like small sickles. I use the wrong (dull) side of those for scraping out squash and pumpkins and they work pretty well.

    xenophora ,
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    @dnkboston @ansate

    Oh, got'cha. I just use my biggest, heaviest knife to get into most squashes and pumpkins. I'm pretty obsessive about keeping it sharpened. So that's the easy part. :BlobCat_Grin:

    @welshpixie@mastodon.art avatar welshpixie , to random

    Chopped some chili to cook with, washed my hands, washed my hands again, did some other stuff, washed my hands, sat down at the computer for half an hour, scratched my nose, death

    xenophora ,
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    @Sarklor @welshpixie

    😮

    [dumps bucket of milk over the whole TL]

    @xenophora@mastodon.art avatar xenophora , to random

    Today’s theme: step out, take a huge fucking risk, crash and burn, brag anyway… 🎶 “All about MONday…” 🎶

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pU8oePPGPAI

    @Binder@petrous.vislae.town avatar Binder , to random

    [Thread, post or comment was deleted by the author]

    •
    xenophora ,
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    @Binder

    Oh, I LOVE chiaroscuro!! 🍲 😋

    @xenophora@mastodon.art avatar xenophora , to random

    Now re-watching Mac & Me. My OWN PHYSICAL COPY which I OWN! Cram THAT in your deep fryer, Netflix!!

    ("Pretty Nice!!!") 🍔 🚀

    @Binder@petrous.vislae.town avatar Binder , to random

    [Thread, post or comment was deleted by the author]

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    xenophora ,
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    @Binder

    Deconstructed Billy Bass HAS been my most popular installation to date.

    Sadly, the public doesn't seem to think I'm capable now of something even better. Same thing happened to Winslow Homer with that Armistice painting he did.

    @xenophora@mastodon.art avatar xenophora , to random

    Now that my 2017 laptop is fully operational, I should take some crappy Photobooth selfies just to see if they look slightly less godawful than they did on the 2011 laptop.

    @SallyStrange@eldritch.cafe avatar SallyStrange , to random

    Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords starting to look like a reasonable basis for a system of government

    xenophora ,
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    @SallyStrange

    Ms. Magazine snubs her every single damn election and they never answer my emails, either!

    xenophora ,
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    @SallyStrange

    Granted, I could stop calling them “shit-for-brains useless sellouts” every election. 😙 ~ ~ ~ 🎶 (but I won’t)

    @xenophora@mastodon.art avatar xenophora , to random

    Anyone have the most current newcomers' guide to successfully using Masto (or Fedi and its forks in general)? It can be video or written. I'm not picky.

    Really am asking for a friend, but also I'll watch it, too. A refresher never hurts.

    Boost for sure!! :D

    @xenophora@mastodon.art avatar xenophora , to random

    Collage - "Time Alone 7"

    Textured tall rectangle of blue sky with several big clouds and a bit of gray mountain range below. Two 1960s old timey clocks with green square bodies, brass spindles and brass trim float in the center, angled away from one another. A man’s hand is at lower left, gesturing upwards. A woman’s hand at upper right points downward, holding a 1950s TV remote which looks like a green plastic toy gun. It also has brass trim. Arranged in a semicircle as if they were oversized game pieces: four graduated size glass marbles in alternating bronze yellow and bright purple. Plus four graduated size metal jar lids tinted with those same colors.
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    @xenophora@mastodon.art avatar xenophora , to random

    “Time Alone 5”

    Tall gray rectangle with multicolored pastel background & a faint image of mountains at lower left. Near center: giant shell pink 1960s clock with several thin colored rings around it. Two pink strips with moonstone-like oval shapes stuck to its left side. Trim: trio of three-sectioned green leaf cutouts and two additional rings.
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    xenophora OP ,
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    Horizontal rectangular composition. Light gray concrete texture with vari-sized blots of pastel "watercolor" in pink, yellow, blue, and purple. Two copies of a male 1960s figure in formal wear, but no jacket, are in a dance pose with one arm upraised. Four blue rectangles each with three plastic daisies inside. Trim: several thin, vari-sized white rings and two horizontal clusters of pink and gray balloons. Concrete is set atop a larger blue rectangle with faint negative images of palm trees and more flowers. In turn, that rectangle is set atop a larger pink rectangle to create a double-border effect. Text: "He just wants to dance."
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    • xenophora OP ,
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    Tall rectangle with rough red-brown vertical-streaked center panel. Scattered down it are three square gold frames with circle cutouts each revealing a blurred and splotched drawing of a hen on a nest. Below them: a fat rectangle of brown fabric partially torn to reveal two musical notes beneath. Top and bottom of comp each have a white-banded strip showing photos of heaped brown and white eggs. Part of an LP on the lower strip. Text: “Our before now & forever after blues.”
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    • xenophora OP ,
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    Fat horizontal rectangle with blue Lapis Lazuli background. Center has a three-section Medieval arched gold frame with a carved 1980s pearl-and-diamond mermaid figure with a curved gold tail. She faces right with one upraised arm. At upper right corner: the upside-down half-head of a young 1950s man looks at her. Behind the frame: a thin pink curved line resembling a cat’s or fox’s head and shoulders. Several segments of opaque text inset against it. Trim: several scattered diamond balls, three gold nuggets, and two swimming sardines. Main text below in white: “The big one that got away.”
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    • xenophora OP ,
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    Tall rectangle in blotchy bottle green. A green bed at lower left with a row of lit white candles instead of a headboard and a green coverlet with small pebbly bumps. At lower right: a small gray wood nightstand with a large patch of blurred bright yellow leaf print underneath it. A white plastic cherub floats in the air over the bed, and is run through several filters so it’s also blurry. Trim: six small round crystals in blue or yellow, arranged in two straight perpendicular lines, and a few squiggles of soft pink around the cherub
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    • xenophora OP ,
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    Looked at the first image in this series (from 2018) and I think I've come a long way! 🎉

    xenophora OP ,
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    Collage - “Friday At Five”

    (It's already Caturday elsewhere, so... :artpaw: )

    Tall mango orange rectangle with toothy texture. It's overlaid with opaque, wavy vertical type clipped from a 1950s pet care guide. A strip of red 1940s cloth with a white and yellow leaf pattern curves like a shallow wave below. The center has a loosely arranged pyramid of six 1960s television sets with brown wooden exteriors and four legs. The bottom five sets each show a gray tabby kitten looking up with its left front paw raised, against a backdrop of blue cloth and atop a red cushion. A large fruit bowl sits atop each set. The uppermost set has a close-up of fruit on its screen. A larger copy of the same kitten sits on top. Over the pyramid is a round blue embossed 1940s clock, showing 5 O'Clock.
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    • xenophora OP ,
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    Collage - “Tick Tock 4”

    Fat pink horizontal rectangle marked with darker pink and white variable sized tile lines. At left and right: two copies of a grandfather clock and extra pink pattern swatches. At lower left: brown opaque copy of a museum corner interior. At center: strip of Art Nouveau-type yellow flowers, a Renaissance drawing of a young man in three-quarter view, and a floral shape made of frosting rings and cake. Trim: two small green spheres, a bit of faded brown ad copy, and a pink circle saying, “10 cents.” Text: “Choosing the right kind of troubles and cures.”
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    • xenophora OP ,
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    For the curious: the altered figure drawing is "Young Man Holding A Pole," by Mirabello Cavalori. The catalogue it's from says only, "14th to 17th Century," in regards to when it was done. The original was in "red chalk on paper washed terracotta."

    I didn't cover him up in any way. I think he looks like he's in swim trunks only because the artist wasn't quite sure how he wanted the legs to be positioned. 🤔

    xenophora OP ,
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    Long horizontal rectangle that’s bright blue sky with a soft cloud effect. A small, faint, wiggly image of the number Five floats at both the left and right edges. The composition's center is an abstract smaller rectangle made of green and yellow marbled cuts like 1950s linoleum. They are arranged in asymmetric blocks and strips. Over this: smaller pair of photos of piled pastel butter mint candies, two thin rectangular raised pastel outlines, two blue sky triangles which each point right, and two stacks of concentric linoleum circles each topped with a round faceted yellow or green gem. I hope it all suggest arrows and archery and hitting your target. Text: “Gets across your point.”
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    • xenophora OP ,
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    Square brown composition with bright accents of blue, pink, orange, and green forming two stacked inner frames, with one beneath the other angled as in a compass rose. Centered inside these frames: a rimmed square of halftone dots, which are blurred, darkened, and pinched to form wiggly lines with a tie-dyed feel. There’s a faint effect of two angled green and orange plus signs lying atop one another. Also, two concentric sets of 1950s white sans serif type circles it inside and say, “Perfect pair. Morning - Noon - Night.” They each have two stars instead of periods. A 1950s gold rimmed white thermostat dial sits where the crosses meet. Trim: two each of a glass sphere and metal spiral buttons. Also, feathery bits of scrollwork over yellow and white grids at each edge and corner of the brown background.
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    • xenophora OP ,
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    Tall rectangle has background of seven vari-sized samples of carpet in alternating yellow and blue. They form a boxy shape and are inset with a five samples of a square pattern resembling archer’s targets. At left, two bright orange roses and leaves on long stems are in a vase made from sections of a dark blue, pastel-striped agitator from an 1950s washing machine. It’s tall and skinny with a trumpet-like base. At lower right: a pair of stacked, square, red-fringed 1960s pillows in yellow and orange. Trim: a tiny white 1940s washer-dryer set, a red box of laundry soap decorated with a few large white roses covering the brand name, and an angled trio of smiling bright orange lips. Text: “Your pick of the clean and empty.”
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    • @xenophora@mastodon.art avatar xenophora , to random

    “Time Alone 4” - Pink and red mottled square decorated with random duotone flowers from a glass paperweight. Trim: three different floating clock faces. Text: two curved sets of the words: “Holidays, Birthdays, Anniversaries, Other Special Events” with corresponding curved lines. Black text at left, White text at right.

    xenophora OP ,
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    Arrghhh. It's No. 15, NOT No. 10!!

    (I quit the internet forever. Try to get every needed detail down & then the number is WRONG damnit!!) 🙀

    Anyway, here's the rest of the set, w/o descriptions, for those interested:

    https://www.deviantart.com/msxenophora/gallery/81629100/happy-hours

    xenophora OP ,
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    Two-toned green square with rough, streaky texture divided into quarters. Faint image of 1940s living room in two of the quarters. Simple, flat chain of large pointed leaf shapes around canvas edge: eight in total. They are decorated with a pair of pink roses, two copies of two different fonts of the letter “R,” and two yellow glass beads. Center: two shiny pink tiles, diagonally set. Each has rose-like yellow gear in a large hole in its center. Two more tiny yellow rose beside them for trim.
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    • xenophora OP ,
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    Collage - “Preston 10”

    Tall yellow rectangle with faint white grids & pebbly texture. Blue band at right with five white scroll segments, two red rose buttons, which alternate with red, yellow, or blue musical notes. At center: two stacked red square tiles of different size, each with a round yellow paint-blob in its middle Upper left: 1930s drawing in blue duotone of birds flying over a mountainous shore. Trim at bottom: two more shiny white round buttons with red feathery markings. Text: “Give him all the lovely colors to choose from.”
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    • xenophora OP ,
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    Square composition with multicolored abstract paint blotches and smudges. Faded scrap of sans serif text from a 1930s beachcomber's guide turned sideways at upper right. Two rectangular wood frames & 1 elaborate gold frame each hold images of sealife like cone #shells, a starfish, and a line drawing of a fish in seaweed. A mat half in pink and half in blue is underneath the "canvas."
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    • xenophora OP ,
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    “Harvest Moon 2” - Tall purple rectangle with rough, bubble glass filter used. Witch’s hat shape of triangle cut from ditsy flowered red print on white, plus four stacked graduated ellipses. They are cut from small purple-on-yellow text taken from a 19th century astronomy guide, a lime green frozen dessert, white crochet, and the lime green again. More of that green forms boxy planetary surface at lower left. Four size-graduated “moons” with similar sources float above the triangle hat's point and form a gentle arc. At upper right: two stacked washing machine doors in light green, with round dark windows set in square doors. Floating, scattered trim: three ears of corn & two pebbled green squash.
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    • @xenophora@mastodon.art avatar xenophora , to random

    let they who are without Sid* cast the first Don

    (*Yes my Gray tuxedo mountain of fur IS named Sid, and this IS him looking youthful and majestic atop that crappy old chair we ditched years ago after his older companion killed it.)

    Like it said on the tin: El Sid the gray Aby-Tabby, young, plump, and full of the devil. Posing regally on the back of a faded red-brown brocade chair. Night is behind him in the white-trimmed window, and he contemplates all the treats which are likely going to cats who aren't him.
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    xenophora OP ,
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    🎶 “There’s someone fur me somewhere
    And I still miss someone…” 🌈 🐾

    (Thank you, Johnny Cats. [sigh] )