@monsoonrains@mastodon.social cover
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

monsoonrains

@[email protected]

(Terms & Conditions Apply)

Copy/Writer, Content/Marketer, Chaos/Witch, Trashy/Snob

No pronouns. Do not refer to us.

Sometimes English, sometimes German. Mostly nonsense.

Фук ю!

Neuroatypical, ace/demi panromantic, gender-free, (Irish/South African) cultural mongrel.

Often drunk.

Amazing Aladin & Samuel Crunchberg's other parent.

This profile is from a federated server and may be incomplete. View on remote instance

@Daojoan@mastodon.social avatar Daojoan , to random

“Empower” is the most worthless word in the English language.

monsoonrains ,
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

@Daojoan Unless, of course, it involves being able to flay people alive with your mind.

@arstechnica@mastodon.social avatar arstechnica , to random

A single point of failure triggered the Amazon outage affecting millions
A DNS manager in a single region of Amazon's sprawling network touched off a 16-hour debacle.
https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/2025/10/a-single-point-of-failure-triggered-the-amazon-outage-affecting-millions/?utm_brand=arstechnica&utm_social-type=owned&utm_source=mastodon&utm_medium=social

monsoonrains ,
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

@arstechnica Jesus tittyfucking Christ has no heard of "redundancy"'. Basic concept. Like really basic.

And they want to replace it with "A" "I". Good luck to them, Father.

@kevinrothrock@infosec.exchange avatar kevinrothrock , to random

i know Putin threatened a massive retaliation for US aid to Ukraine, but reaching all the way to Washington, DC, like this is incredible

monsoonrains ,
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

@kevinrothrock Such a yawnsauce.

I'm sitting in west Germany waiting for his missile to deliver me to sweet oblivion and big Tsar daddy can barely erect himself past Donbas.

Talk about an impotent tease. GTFO дідусь.

@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

Someone made a comment that I've been posting about cats too much lately. First of all, wrong. Second of all, there is no such thing as too much cat posting.
So naturally, today's Low Quality Ad is for this Cat Pin.
https://collabs.shop/sjvtwu

A round black and white pin of a sleeping cat. It says why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
ALT
monsoonrains ,
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts Asleep is much better than in love. High ain't worth the comedown. As drugs go, not my favorite.

@Alice@beige.party avatar Alice , to random

I refuse to use Siri because I don’t want everyone around me to be able to hear me asking about actors' heights all day long.

monsoonrains ,
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

@Alice Marketers thought voice search would take over everything thing but they forgot to account for people who don't want others to hear them ordering hemorrhoid cream on the bus.

@Daojoan@mastodon.social avatar Daojoan , to random

they keep inventing new ways to make me look at a screen. im looking at the screen right now. mission accomplished i guess. hope youre happy

monsoonrains ,
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

@Daojoan I wouldn't mind but why does Screen having to be so boring.

This is why I end up going drinking.

@geist@masto.ai avatar geist , to random

makes a one pot meal

dirties seven bowls, three forks, nine spoons, and somehow explodes an instapot

monsoonrains ,
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

@geist So first of all, I told you that in confidence.

Second of all, don't judge me for grabbing food when I'm out.

starts crying

@lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

That episode was wild.

Oprah once gave each audience member at her show a free briefcase that contained a silenced handgun and the coordinates of Osama bin Laden's last known location.
ALT
monsoonrains ,
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

@lowqualityfacts Oprah does not mess around.

She will chew and eat an entire fork at dinner while not flinching. Just to show dominance.

@ralphruthe@troet.cafe avatar ralphruthe , to random German

Guten Morgen!

Im TV-Studio. Links ein Moderator, er sagt: "Zu Gast ist heute der Autor eines Buchs, das sehr viel Menschen vegan werden lässt.". Recht daneben ein fröhlicher Mann, der ein Buch in die Kamera hält. Darauf steht der Titel "Kochen wie in England".
ALT
monsoonrains ,
@monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

@ralphruthe Was sagen die über Leute im Glashäuser..? 🤭

@JessTheUnstill@infosec.exchange avatar JessTheUnstill , to random

[Thread, post or comment was deleted by the author]

    •
    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @JessTheUnstill Thanks brain, I hate it 💖

    @w7voa@journa.host avatar w7voa , to random

    President Trump, stepping off Air Force One in Florida, says to reporters he told Putin and Zelenskyy to end the war immediately and "stop at the battle lines" that currently exist so soldiers can "go home to their families."

    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @w7voa Well I hope those soldiers were frozen after grinding otherwise there's no point in sending back spoiled mince.

    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

    Tonight's Low Quality Ad is for this Needlepoint Pillow. Oh pillow, no one understands me the way you do.
    https://collabs.shop/dche2q

    A rectangular pillow that says in big red letters: What And I cannot stress this enough The fuck
    ALT
    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @lowqualityfacts RUDE pillow.

    But fair.

    @jmopp@masto.ai avatar jmopp , to random

    My two favourite exercises are the goblin squat and the horse dance.

    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @jmopp I don't know what either are but my mind filled them in with its own definitions so they seem fun

    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

    It's true.

    Anthony Hopkins was never young.
    ALT
    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @lowqualityfacts Uh yeah same. Old souls are sick of everyone's shit.

    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

    I love Ryan Gosling.

    "I never wanted to act. wanted to be a chef at Applebee's, but - am legally not allowed to set foot in any Applebee's." 1 Ryan Gosling
    ALT
    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @lowqualityfacts And Ihe damn well shouldn't be. I have no words for what happened. Christ. Still traumatized 20 years later.

    @molly0xfff@hachyderm.io avatar molly0xfff , to random

    slightly ominous mailer from the Red Cross

    Mailer that reads: Molly, Seasons may change, but the need for blood is constant.
    ALT
    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @molly0xfff I thought this was some of your poetry or something and was like... yeah that's pretty good and also same.

    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

    Sitting at my desk chugging Tylenol until I know how to use Linux.

    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @lowqualityfacts Classic misdirection. Ibuprofen is where the party is at.

    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

    I'm surprised that so many people don't know this.

    Benadryl makes people sleepy because the pills are filled with heroin.
    ALT
    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @lowqualityfacts Or what I call reverse meth

    @Daojoan@mastodon.social avatar Daojoan , to random

    We didn’t start the fire

    it was always burning from the woke agenda

    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @Daojoan Back in my day it was the gay agenda. I think? I dunno I was 12 this seems like a rebrand.

    @w7voa@journa.host avatar w7voa , to random

    Variety - Jimmy Kimmel’s late night show on ABC TV will be off the air“indefinitely” after criticism of comments the host made about the motives of the man accused of assassinating conservative activist Charlie Kirk. https://variety.com/2025/tv/news/nexstar-jimmy-kimmel-abc-charlie-kirk-1236522584/

    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @w7voa wHaT aBoUt FrEe SpEeCh

    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

    I have been laughing at this book cover for the past ten minutes, so tonight's Low Quality Ad is for Decide & Survive, The Attack on Pearl Harbor choose your own adventure book. I legitimately do not know if it is supposed to be funny or not.
    https://collabs.shop/xdwnyl

    Book cover for Decide & Survive The Attack on Pearl Harbor choose your own adventure book. It says "Can you stop the assault and shows a child running away from gunfire.
    ALT
    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @lowqualityfacts Either way, these sequel is very short.

    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

    Makes you think.

    "They say all is fair in love and war, but while our troops were searching for WMDs in Iraq - was still getting charged for public urination. Make it make sense." -Micaee Keaton
    ALT
    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @lowqualityfacts He has a bloody point.

    Why aren't there more public toilets? Jesus people it's called infrastructure the need to excrete is not a negotiation.

    @kevinrothrock@infosec.exchange avatar kevinrothrock , to random

    YouTube's new default autodubbing "feature" is a giant fucking nightmare for anyone who speaks more than one language.

    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @kevinrothrock I fucking hate it so much. But also I have always detested the tactic of switching a websites language based on the IP address.

    Flat out stupid.

    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

    We made a comic about Betsy Ross (it's one of my favorites).

    1 George Washington: Great work Betsy, I love the flag design! 2 George: And 13 stripes! One for each colony? 3 Betsy: One for each British soldier I killed with my bare hands. 4 George: Let's tell people there's one for each colony.
    ALT
    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @lowqualityfacts This is actually so good.

    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

    Math is so interesting.

    The radius of a circle can be used to find the area of a triangle if at least one side of the triangle is equal to the circumference of the circle.
    ALT
    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @lowqualityfacts I got excited but then realized I'd misread "math" as "meth".

    As you were.

    @Daojoan@mastodon.social avatar Daojoan , to random

    “don’t worry, it gets better” - me reassuring the same pile of laundry for the 5th consecutive week

    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @Daojoan I am ridiculously on top of my laundry these days. Like, crushing it.

    Does it have something to do with my new washing machine that also fucking washing and dries shit within 4 hours? And I can literally forget it for days until I need new clothes and then I open the door and there's butterflies and birds flying out and it smells like a Lenor ad?

    Maybe. I dunno.

    All I know is that our neighbors are getting annoyed with the dead birds and butterflies in our common laundry room.

    @MrLovenstein@mastodon.social avatar MrLovenstein , to random

    Secret Panel HERE 💸 https://tapas.io/episode/412588

    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @MrLovenstein Well. I have zero debt so... party time 🪅

    @Daojoan@mastodon.social avatar Daojoan , to random

    notifications are tiny jump scares we willingly inflict on ourselves out of FOMO

    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @Daojoan People choose to keep notifications on when they're not being paid to do so?

    *My notifications are only work related and only active between the hours of 8am and 5pm UTC+1.

    **Why would I listen to notifications if there were no monetary benefit I live near several pubs...

    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

    It was quite the scandal at the time.

    The founder of Match.com met his wife on Tinder.
    ALT
    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @lowqualityfacts Actual fact: when Match.com started you had to mail a photo to them and they'd put it on your profile.

    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

    Someone recently complained that I'm too liberal, so today's Low Quality Ad is for my conservative followers. I know it's been a tough week for you guys with the temporary loss of the Cracker Barrel barrel, I'm overjoyed that Jesus has answered our prayers and brought it back.
    https://collabs.shop/izbajt

    A bumper sticker that says "My wife left me after I sat on my gun and blew my entire dick and balls off at Cracker Barrel.
    ALT
    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @lowqualityfacts Well. I guess I now have a first port of call when I finally go to America.

    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

    Sounds sticky.

    Wine is so cheap in France that people bathe in Merlot instead of water.
    ALT
    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @lowqualityfacts But only a specific type known as 'bathing wine'.

    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

    The perfect plan.

    During World War 11, British spies plotted to secretly replace Hitler's stash of green tea with chamomile tea to make the dictator a little bit sleepier.
    ALT
    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @lowqualityfacts From firsthand experience I can tell you this is wrong because it takes a hell of a lot more than camomile tea to sleep when you're on amphetamines.

    @tante@tldr.nettime.org avatar tante , to random

    As much as I try to be an optimist, I don't see the "AI" bubble popping soon. Too many people's wealth/stock valuation rests on its continuation.

    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @tante Well if by some joyous miracle it does pop, Altman may have to watch out that it doesn't upset any of his rich peers. Cuz that could mean him getting Bankman-Frieded

    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

    I am sick and tired of the non-stop political content on here. So today's Low Quality Ad is for this bumper sticker promoting friendship, something we can all get behind.
    https://collabs.shop/xazkut

    A bumper sticker of Trump and Epstein saying "Besties Forever!"
    ALT
    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @lowqualityfacts So cute! I'm gunna make it into a sticker and put it on my passport. So when I go to the US next year, they know I come in peace.

    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

    Today's Low Quality Ad is for Clocky, the alarm clock for heavy sleepers. Clocky will start beeping and literally run away from you so you're forced to get out of bed. Please do not stomp Clocky. He is only doing his job. Clocky does not deserve to be stomped into a pile of wires and bolts.
    https://www.amazon.com/dp/B006KLC1SW?ref=t_ac_view_request_product_image&campaignId=amzn1.campaign.2I0QE7MWSFUBD&linkCode=tr1&tag=connorstone06-20&linkId=amzn1.campaign.2I0QE7MWSFUBD_1754322457751

    A blue clock with wheels for heavy sleepers.
    ALT
    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @lowqualityfacts How is that gunna help me wake up? If the clock runs away I'll be like, "Oh thank God it's gone" and go back to sleep.

    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

    Pigeons are so brave.

    Carrier pigeons were primarily used to carry wounded soldiers off of the battlefield during World War 1.
    ALT
    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @lowqualityfacts They were much stronger in them days because they'd just synthesized meth and as we all know, it's one hell of a drug.

    @Daojoan@mastodon.social avatar Daojoan , to random

    I Deleted My Second Brain

    Why I Erased 10,000 Notes, 7 Years of Ideas, and Every Thought I Tried to Save
    https://www.joanwestenberg.com/p/i-deleted-my-second-brain

    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @Daojoan One must regularly clean out the limescale (brainscale)?

    I do the same regularly. Actually I sometimes need to consciously remember to keep a few gems...

    I'm very passionate about killing my darlings. I massacre them. Genocide. I will be in the Hague.

    @clive@saturation.social avatar clive , to random

    There is nothing I love more than research finding that coffee is good for your health

    in this case, a four-decade-long study of 50,000 women

    https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/health/2025/06/16/coffee-healthy-aging-women/84225332007/

    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @DeborahLeagueFineArt @clive Personally I don't need coffee to live to 100. The universe hates me enough that it is going to ensure I live as long as possible so I suffer. 🤣

    I am upping my caffeine intake. 😤

    @tante@tldr.nettime.org avatar tante , to random

    Dunno what your writing process is but mine usually is just a thing kinda building up inside me and then I spend a night to write it instead of getting enough sleep because I just can't let it go even for another night. It's a weird sensation.

    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @tante For my own stories, blog posts, personal insights from career, mine is basically the same. With a lot of writing out points and thinking them over, letting them stew and then refining them.

    But: website copy, social media, any new ideas in my content marketing job, AI primarily serves as a way to seriously cut down on brainstorming time.

    The second point is only for work because project deadlines, etc. Plus I'm not just writing in this job - it is one of my duties.

    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

    Today's Low Quality Ad is for this Jurassic Park Mosquito in Amber. Look, I know I can't use this to bring back the dinosaurs. I'm not an idiot. I use it to threaten other mosquitoes, letting them know what ill fate awaits them if they come near me.
    https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0843PHG2K?ref=t_ac_view_request_product_image&campaignId=amzn1.campaign.1KTON1G6ZFKUK&linkCode=tr1&tag=connorstone06-20&linkId=amzn1.campaign.1KTON1G6ZFKUK_1749923850860

    A mosquito trapped in amber.
    ALT
    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @lowqualityfacts Who needs a scientific background when you can checks notes use AI? Metaverse? Crypto? [Insert relevant silicon valley scam here]

    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

    I'm surprised that so many people don't know this.

    Although they are often depicted as teenagers, Romeo and Juliet were 8 years old in Shakespeare's play.
    ALT
    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @lowqualityfacts People aged so much slower back in them days. Especially in the Mediterranean. Because olives or something.

    @w7voa@journa.host avatar w7voa , to random

    (Reuters) - The US embassy in Iraq is preparing for an ordered evacuation due to heightened security risks in the region.

    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @w7voa Reruns. It's all just reruns. Lebanon, Cold War, Gaza... stupid AI.

    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

    I wonder what the punishment is.

    Fun is illegal in South Dakota.
    ALT
    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @lowqualityfacts They confiscated your meth.

    @lritter@mastodon.gamedev.place avatar lritter , to random

    Most workers globally are at small/medium companies (<250 people) with functional hiring. We obsess over Google/Amazon's bizarre processes, but they're outliers. 90%+ of businesses are small, employing 60-70% of people in developed economies. Why let dysfunctional giants dominate "how work should be done" when most companies actually work?

    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @lritter Remote work.

    Behemoths doing RTO etc but like you said, outliers.

    Actual experience or someone working in am SME? It's all pretty groovy actually. Negotiate contracts and make arrangements.

    It's like the bloated AI hype. Not many of us are gunna be truly affected by it because surprise... sweeping general statements don't address the nitty gritty of reality. The big puffed up outliers have been and will learn painful lessons. But will also cover them up.

    @Daojoan@mastodon.social avatar Daojoan , to random

    Everyone under 40 has the same career arc:
    – Work for exposure
    – Work for experience
    – Work for “the mission”
    – Burn out
    – Freelance
    – Substack
    – Coach other burned out freelancers
    – Write a book called Unfuck Your Burnout

    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @Daojoan -Work remotely at a high revenue company in a very old fashioned and niche industry and be bored by how God damn slow they are but also be grateful for the security but plot your long term escape

    *Euro immigrant version I guess

    @Daojoan@mastodon.social avatar Daojoan , to random

    RSS never tracked you.
    Email never throttled you.
    Blogs never begged for dopamine.
    The old web wasn’t perfect.
    But it was yours.

    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @Daojoan Old web gave serotonin. Mmmm.

    @lowqualityfacts@mstdn.social avatar lowqualityfacts , to random

    Could that really just be a coincidence?

    Abraham Lincoln and John F. Kennedy were assassinated on the same day of the year, at the some time, while wearing the exact same suit.
    ALT
    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @lowqualityfacts Always knew Kennedy was a stingy fucker wearing dead man's hand me downs

    @house@fedi.catboy.agency avatar house , to random

    the KIDS are ALRIGHT ​:ablobcatbongogoogly:​​:resonyance:​

    /r/Teachers Reddit post: Title: Students raising their hands just to say Meow Body: I have MULTIPLE 9th grade students that will raise heir (sic) hands as if to ask a question or provide an answer and when chosen they will just loudly say 'MEOW'. What do?
    ALT
    monsoonrains ,
    @monsoonrains@mastodon.social avatar

    @Archivist @MxVerda @semitones @house I hated school (actually not because of teachers, had some damn good ones, just the stupid rules and the peoplyness).

    BUT THIS MAKES ME WANT TO BE IN THIS SCHOOL 😭