I dress up as Stalin for Halloween.
I go to the various houses (petite bourgeoisie kulak liberals) and knock on their door.
I make my demand simple. “Trick or treat, lib.”
They say they’ll give me candy, but only a bagful
This is where it gets interesting.
I pull out a comically large burlap sack (each thread was handwoven by a random seamstress in Dudinka) and take all of the candy.
I then denounce them for their reactionary offerings (licorice is rooted in Anglo-Saxon imperialism, don’t @ me) and then give them a single slap across the face.
They then cry.
I am directly responsible for multiple anti-communist laws in my area.
I am directly responsible for multiple anti-communist laws in my area.
Commie goals. Nicely done, comrade. Now I kinda wanna dress as Stalin for Halloween, my dad would lose his mind…
Sorry, but this was just a shitpost.
Eh, still commie goals. If they’re going to raise McCarthy from the dead and make anti communist laws, might as well be directly responsible for some municipal and county ones, right?
I mean, good luck stopping me from dressing up as Charlie Merked
Gonna make a big papier mache head with a tiny face with X’s for eyes
Same!
Make sure you use red bodypaint for the neck hole, not jam, it will just fall off and make everything sticky.
Yeah, while I wouldn’t mind smelling like fruit all night, I also don’t like being sticky
Rig up a system like they use in movies and stuff where if you squeeze a pouch it will shoot fake blood from your neck
Squibs!
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The bougie conservatives are afraid of their own shadow, absolutely. But I live in a Trump-leaning working class neighborhood and they do Halloween like it’s 1985 (giant candy bars, zero road safety, zero COVID precautions. As God intended.)
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That’s okay, I’m going as a panda bear. I can make commie bear jokes to myself, while everyone else just sees a hug shaped ball of fluff.
I would go as Lenin, since I have done that for Halloween before, and I usually do it on the anniversary of the October Revolution as well, but I want to be cautious this year, and no one I know ever recognizes that costume anyway, so…
