noctivius, noctivius@lemm.ee

Is there such a thing? I am not even 100% sure what I am talking about. I noticed with more unmasking I do more of this "deep think" thing. Thinking about some event, occasion, conversation either artificial, not artificial, happened or will happen in future so deep and in details that I could forget about surroundings or start to talk aloud before I notice that I am doing that. Is it part of stimming? Just found on another website that some people have similar experience and they would consider it as stimming. Do you know about some scientifical researches about particularly this type of stimming and what is your experience? Note that I (probably) mean type of stimming that does not require any physical, verbal, visional interactions with environment, but this stimming where only your thoughts are involved. What is your experience?

Do you find it easy to learn new languages (human languages, spoken/written, like english spanish etc)? I am about to learn 4th till fluent level and wondering how long it will take. I find it easy to learn words and rules of making sentences from words, but I need practice and for practice I need to socialize, which is a problem. Do you have any suggestions how to make practice and avoid socializing? May be talk to myself only in my new language the whole day?

I remembered when I was a kid trying to learn to hold a pen "properly" (as everyone do) I couldn't manage to do it and was holding it in my own way. Parents and teachers were trying to teach me how to hold it "properly" but it just didn't work out, I sticked to the way it was comfortable to me. The common way of holding it wasn't understandable to me and I just could not do it no matter how much I tried. Eventually adults gave up and let me be, except few more poor attempts from random teachers in school to re-teach me. I ended up with my own unique method of holding the pen and being asked from every person see my grip "why you are holding pen like that?". My handwriting wasn't very good, in school classes I would get lower grades because of it. Later as a teenager when I was "randomly" (you know) interested in calligraphy I have mastered my handwriting to a level none of those adults could ever imagine I would do, but still using the same grip I learned as a child and until now. Now when realizing myself autistic after 20+ years I thought, was my inability to learn to hold a pen in common way (as taught) a clear sign of being autistic? What is your experience with learning to hold a pen?

Do you know any autistic/ND streamers who play and stream games? Can you share if you know?

Its 2nd time I quit smoking for last year. Previous was around 10 months ago. Both times, few days after I quit I have started to see something funny in dreams and waking up laughing. I am pretty sure its related because I don't remember myself laughing in dreams for many many years. Is it related and is there explanation why it happening?