Sauron on drums? Most metal band ever.

Listen, you can’t just call something a breakfast-whatever and convince us it’s a suitable first meal. I was prepared to let breakfast burritos slide, but this is a step too far.

Couldn’t stop thinking about that film for weeks after watching it.

Try working in healthcare. Awful hard to say no when you have to face them across the lunchroom table every day…

The average highschooler nowadays doesn’t get to dissect executed criminals.

Nebulae are like Rorschach ink blots.

…anyone else see a furby burning in hell?

Went to pour himself a glass of filtered water, but wasn’t sure which side of the tap was for hot water. He didn’t want to accidentally pour a glass of boiling water - so he put his hand in it to see if it was scalding hot. It was.

We literally jogged animals to death.

My PE teacher tried to do that to me once or twice. Guess I showed him. The kid with the bad leg was the weakest herd member.

“The gimp’s asleep.”

“Well wake him up!”

Maybe I should read the article. It does say Disney. Am I too focused on pissing on Jeff Bezos’ bald head?

…nah.

As an adult? I paid for it, I’ll eat it. Then I won’t order it again.

Ive thought about many of things but im unsure if i should try them?

You should definitely try them. What have you got to lose?

Since you’re a creative sort, why not make zines? Scribus is a free layout tool you could use to build them and there are plenty of free templates available.

Wow. His power level’s over 9,000.

No. But I bet I could lick my cat’s nose… once.

Maybe you should read the article.

Well, no. They say if the maggots are dead, the cheese isn’t safe to eat.

I do, but that’s because I subscribe to hobby newsletters that tend to run long. I wouldn’t use a summary button because I want every bit of that content.

A condom.

Apart from the obvious use, you can carry water in it if there’s an emergency.

If it turns out that Amazon killed Dr Who for good then I am personally gonna piss all over Jeff Bezos’ bald head.

Why would Jesus want a touchdown? Donate half your income to charity if you want to impress him.