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There are some things that you don’t learn in school. And that includes what to do and say when you slide into a barber’s chair. Like any relationship, you need to put the effort in to see the results you want. And cutting corners only ends one way: alone on the sofa, eating your feelings while reminiscing about better times.
That fate can be avoided by obeying the cardinal rules of the barbershop. Below, expert grooming professionals share the do’s and don’ts required to maintain a fruitful, long-lasting relationship with your barber.
Do: Shower beforehand
It's so easy to just roll out of bed, throw on some sweats, and head to the barbershop. But if you come straight from the gym or you skipped the deodorant that morning, it’s going to make your experience much worse. Cane Kilshaw, a barber at The Mews, East, says keeping your hygiene in check is an “obvious one,” but crucial. “Turning up smelly makes it really hard to do a close-up service,” says Kilshaw. “I’m talking more about body than hair, because I never mind doing a proper hair wash.”
Megan Ford from Ruffians agrees, saying that it “definitely matters. It’s always appreciated when clients come in clean, especially if they’ve been training, wearing hats all day, or using a lot of product. We do wash their hair, but by keeping clean, it makes the appointment more comfortable for everyone, and it helps me see what I’m working with.”
Before you book your haircut, try to plan it around your schedule. Feeling fresh will go very, very far in the long run.
Don’t: Use complicated barber jargon
TikTok is a great platform for helping clients connect with new barbers and learn about new hair trends. But the one drawback is that it’s imbued the masses with an insane amount of men’s grooming lingo that many barbers don’t really use. Word combos like “low burst fade” and “modern textured mod cut” flood our FYP, but in real life, they’ll just make your consultation more confusing.
“I feel that sometimes people see hair language, maybe on TikTok, and throw it all together,” says Kilshaw. “It’s never going to be clear for a solid result. Pictures are always really helpful, even just a few.”
You’re better off showing the person cutting your hair a few inspo pics than you are talking your way through the cut you really want.
Do: Arrive on time
A good barber is always going to be busy, so showing up just a few minutes late can throw their schedule off. Maxwell Oakley, the co-founder of Supply 91, says, “It’s a bit like asking for a three-course meal in the time it takes to make toast. The time booked is the time we have, and running over impacts every client after.”
Guray Kesman is the founder of Kesman Grooming. He has a little more wriggle room, but knows that clients need to be punctual. “Time awareness is a big one. Running five or 10 minutes late is part of city life. But when a schedule is fully booked, awareness matters,” says Kesman. “The most considerate clients arrive ready—coat off, distractions aside—understanding that time isn’t just theirs, but shared with everyone who follows.” Nahid Abdul at Island Barbers adds that showing up late “can cause a major inconvenience sometimes, and it mainly happens with new clients.”
Remember, you’re a grown-up. Your job expects you to be on time, and so does your partner, family, and everyone else important in your life. Barbers shouldn’t be treated any differently. If you’re running late, TJ Hunt, from Time, suggests “letting us know as soon as you can. This way we can look at our diary and check if we can accommodate you by, say, pushing the following client a bit later or moving you to an alternative gap later in the day.”
Do: Know exactly what you want ahead of time
A good barber will always have a solid consultation with you beforehand. This is when you discuss everything about your hair: how fast it grows, how you want to style it, and if they think you’re going bald. It’s hard for some people, but advocating for yourself is key to receiving a cut that you want to show off.
People who have received a cut from Ford before understand how necessary a good chat can be ahead of your chop. “Both myself and the client want the same end result—a haircut that we are both happy with, and that makes them feel confident,” says Ford.
“A consultation works best when it’s collaborative, and it helps when clients are clear about what they want. They can bring references if needed, and by staying engaged throughout the cut rather than waiting until the very end to mention something they were unsure about, we can achieve something together that everybody loves.”
Whenever you find yourself in a barber’s chair, make sure you take time before the cut to discuss your needs. It can be 30 seconds, and it can also be five minutes. Regardless of the length, your initial chat will work wonders.
Don’t: Get experimental before key life moments
There’s nothing wrong with trying out new styles. But be sure that you aren’t going rogue in key moments where you need to look good.
“The idea of opting for a pivotal cut for your wedding day or graduation ceremony, is a bold and risky maneuver, but going for a drastic change to your usual style at this moment in time is a daredevil act of Evel Knievel proportions,” says Hunt. “Why not mark this moment with a haircut to symbolize its importance? Because of the potential pitfalls, that’s why.”
In other words, save the drastic transformations for when you have a moment to deal with the potential ramifications.
Don’t: Try to tag on additional services
According to barbers, some guys will book an alternative service, expecting the full shabang. Think booking for just a haircut, but asking for a cut, beard shave, and hairline enhancements. This always ends up going one of two ways. Either your barber’s schedule is gone with the wind, or you’re not going to receive the service you actually want. It’s a lose-lose. Oakley says, “It’s like booking a taxi and expecting a private jet. Different services exist for a reason, and it mainly hinges on time.”
Ford has developed a niche in big transformations, like going from long to short in one appointment. “Booking for a shorter appointment when you actually need a full restyle or something more detailed can make it difficult to give the right amount of time and attention the haircut needs,” he says. “Not to mention, it can be very stressful for the barber to achieve what somebody envisions in too short a time frame.”
Hunt says that he hears something along the lines of ‘I’ve booked in for the back and sides option, but I just want an inch or so off the top as well’ or ‘I booked in for a beard trim, but if you could just whip the clippers over the top too that’d be great,’ relatively often. “We do appreciate that you may not know exactly what service matches your needs, but if in doubt, we’d recommend dropping us a line to find out before booking,” says Hunt.
Don’t: Yap during the shave
Your barber is holding, presumably, a straight blade that, in mob times, was used as a weapon. Sometimes they’re even using it on your face. Your money maker! So the last thing you want to do is yap to your barber about your favorite sports team or building your dream home gym.
Kesman, quite eloquently, puts it like this: “When a cut-throat razor is on your neck—especially around the Adam’s apple—it’s not the moment for conversation. It’s about precision, control, and safety. A good barber will naturally pause. The best clients instinctively follow.”
And if we’re being real, a full face shave is the most relaxing experience in the shop. Especially if you just sit and let go. Your barber will carve the hair on your face to perfection, and you get to enjoy multiple sessions of hot towels and massages. So next time you’re getting a shave, remember: silence is your friend.
Do: Trust the process
Your haircut holds power over your overall self-confidence. The second you leave the chair, you probably feel like a brand new man, ready to take on the world. But remember, your hair is cut in stages. So there’s no point in checking how your fade is looking every time your barber swaps guards.
“It’s natural to be curious,” Kesman says, but at the end of the day, you’re ruining the flow. “A haircut isn’t about judging the process mid-way; it’s about trusting the outcome. The consultation has already set the direction. From that point on, the best thing a client can do is relax and let the barber work. That trust is what allows confidence—and ultimately, a better result.”
That also means not being overly involved in the process. Abdul says that sometimes “clients move their head in the chair to try and make it easier for me to cut them. It actually makes it harder.”
As Kesman says, “none of these are major faults. They’re small habits, often unintentional. But in a craft built on detail, presence, and rhythm, those small things make all the difference.”