Mental Health

Hey folks. It's me, VubDapple. I'm a (not so active but still present) mod for this community and also a mental health professional. Recently there was some upset at this young community's rule about posts concerning suicide. I thought I'd offer a few thoughts about suicide and where things seem to stand right now. Sorry for the delay in my response; things have been rather busy in my life.

Story:

Literally bipolar af, literally just switching between the “good mom” persona and “tiger mom” like with a snap of a finger… jesus christ I think my mom needs more psychiatric help than I do, wtf mom, who the fuck are you?

I have a job and I go outside all the time. But I am so afraid of not being close to my car. I only ever make journeys where I’m in my car or somebody else’s and won’t be venturing too far from it. The fear of feeling stranded and unable to get into a car and go home is too much to bear.

“break you buy” welp

In the US, first of all.

Edit: Okay so I just spent 45 minutes on the phone and finally got it reschedulled for NEXT friday afternoon…

I’ve been recently dealing with worsening eisoptrophobia (fear of reflections) and spectrophobia (fear of mirrors), and I was wondering if anyone else here experiences these? Does anyone have any tips to manage these phobias?

I’m a people pleaser. I have anxiety and depression thanks to some trauma. I’ve been in therapy for a little over a year.

Just a sort of open ended question. I want to share my experience and am curious to hear of others as well. Sorry, this is long winded!

I was born into & will die with Learning Challenges (in- language processing & short & long term memories), have earned degree in SLD, many certifications, including VE & ESE, from the most respected higher educational school in Fl., whatever that is worth, & facilitated learning in Elementary schools’-high schools’-adult education school’s ESE & Etc. classrooms. So I understand that challenges can be extremely hard identify-prove & everywhere, I think everyone has a challenge, to some degree.

wall of text ahead

i keep an ongoing self-sabotage streak with what good universe gives me, with little sense of self-worth, no place of security, feeling constant deja vu illusions about the future to not feel surprised in the present.

I realized I boxed myself into a corner and put myself in solitude. I bad at asking for help.

I hate always writing about negative things, but this is something that I did not expect to happen and I acknowledge that I am at fault as well for this situation.

That sentence is the clearest distillation of my depression that I’ve managed to write.

Hi!

I’m so confused…

It happened today, I was in daze and just wanted one person to just talk to and in that daze I was blinded by that desire.

I wanna finish my memoir before I die… don’t wanna like die from a random car accident… that’d be lame as fuck…

So I usually go long winded and “intense” when I do these things.

There no nations

Ok so before I lose my mind: I am most likely fine. I was willingly in the same room as (maybe) sealed asbestos because I was fulfilling a stupid customer request to activate network access. Why: it’s normalized to ignore this particular asbestos warning and we tell ourselves to simply avoid stirring any dust. However: Asbestos is air borne.. I’m in a state with tight regulations about asbestos yet my university is somehow stingy on not completely removing this shit, just because people are rarely, if ever, in the mechanical rooms. (I have no idea if the asbestos is well sealed or not, but maybe not if the warnings are up… which is crazy because warnings get ignored and how tf is that legal). I thought I was limited exposure but my equally paranoid MD mother has been worrying me about my short-term exposure. It’s been like 3-4 times each 30-60 minutes where I’ll be standing in one spot punching a Cat6 110 block. I’ve occasionally had to pick up the dropped remains with my fingernails and stuff them in a disposable bag too. I know how dirty this room is so I always wash my hands thoroughly. However, what I really didn’t know about asbestos is how easily it sticks around. You can breathe it in even in a still room and it can stick to all of your clothing and cross contaminate shit. My winter jacket was probably the worst offender and it was quite shite to honest so I’ve thrown it out, which I plan to replace with a thrift jacket. I’ve thrown my dirty laundry and formal work clothes into the washing machine and let them do a cycle. I know asbestos can’t really be removed that way but at this point I need to soothe my nerves. I’m kind of just having a breakdown and have vowed to never do any of those tasks again (smartly maybe) despite the relative safeness, probably, of them. However I don’t want to do any permanent shit to my body… especially nothing that puts a countdown on my lungs. I’m keeping myself calm by reminding myself that my exposure was so limited but really I’ve been way too naïve up to now with how easily the universe can kill you in a single breath. I feel I also have to add that I’ve put in writing to my supervisor to address these concerns… especially the concern that these fibers are probably on the bottom of our tool bag… since I am not the first person in this position and the high frequency of our work requests.. (most asbestos is in the wall and harmless in our university, however, sometimes it is exposed. There is only really one place I’ve been that I’ve had to heed this warning.)