12/25/25, 12:00 AM

on my first Christmas ever, alone, knowing that I made it

but I still cannot get rid of the thought that it was too high price for me

5+ years of dreaming about it, abandoning my old life with nothing (zero skills at all) but knowing I could make myself better, living on the edge of poverty hoping to finally make it up someday, changing 2 countries where HRT got banned (Russia and Georgia), applying for asylum in Spain, disappointment in the local healthcare system to the extent where I chose rather to start DIY than wait 1-2 more years

and no opportunity to change my gender and name before I get a second citizenship which will happen in 6-7 years

was it worth it ?