My entire fucking leg is COVERED in poison ivy. I am seriously worried that its going to spread to...My special parts. Its making me SO MAD! Everyone else in my house is all "Ooooh, la la la, I'm not itchy! La di da di da!". Me, I can't even sit on the can properly for fear of spreading poison ivy onto my family's ASS CHEEKS! I want to kill the person the person that invented poison ivy, 'cause that shit sure didn't come from the good ol womb of Mother Nature! Nope, this stuff came from the sick mind of some evil bastard bent on making the entire world suffer pure, raw ITCHY! I finally feel sympathy for Robin from Batman. I mean he had a full body wrap of poison ivy on him or maybe just Poison Ivy on him. Either way, ITCHY! I mean, Bat Man had the full body suit but all Robin had was a tight spandex t-shirt, a mask that hardly covered his face and a pair of scaly, green underpants! The latter doesn't even have anything to do with birds at all!

On a completely unrelated note, men can now have babies.