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The Betrayal Bind: How to Heal When the Person You Love the Most Hurts You the Worst Paperback – March 7, 2023
What happens when your partner, your primary person, in an instant, becomes a source of danger and pain?
The Betrayal Bind introduces new language, concepts, and imagery to explore the crucial relational dilemma that betrayed partners face when their significant other is unsafe to connect to, yet connection is the key to healing.
Discovering a partner’s sexual betrayal spins your world out of control. In a split second, your sense of safety is shattered, your trust is gone, and everything you thought you could count on is in question.
Betrayed partners, whether dealing with an isolated infidelity or a pattern of sexual compulsivity, need immediate support to navigate the new terrain of their relationship. They need a clear articulation of betrayal trauma, a thorough education about their normal attachment-based reactions, and a proven path to healing.
By focusing on how a partner’s attachment system functions in the wake of sexual betrayal, The Betrayal Bind offers a new, game-changing exploration into an age-old problem and connects the dots from research to the lived experience of betrayed partners.
- Print length368 pages
- LanguageEnglish
- PublisherCentral Recovery Press
- Publication dateMarch 7, 2023
- Dimensions6 x 0.75 x 9 inches
- ISBN-101949481778
- ISBN-13978-1949481778
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From the Publisher
Editorial Reviews
Review
“In The Betrayal Bind, Michelle Mays uses attachment theory to explain, educate, and empower hurting partners. Through her compassionate use of storytelling, Mays shares profound insights, normalizes partner’s experiences, and provides encouragement and support. It is a must read for any person experiencing betrayal.”—Stefanie Carnes, PhD, President of the International Institute for Trauma and Addiction Professionals and author of Courageous Love
“Mays speaks the unvarnished truth about the impact of intimate betrayal with warmth and compassion as she guides the reader on a hero’s journey from pain to grace. She accurately describes the emotionally harrowing, complex experience of betrayal trauma without pathologizing either party. With neuro-scientific accuracy, Mays explains why fear, shame, and powerlessness drive attachment ambivalence and how to shift out of it. The Betrayal Bind illuminates a clear and empowering path forward toward creating safety, sexual healing, and reclaiming an authentic sense of self. This book is a must-read for the betrayed, betrayers, and therapists.”—Alexandra Katehakis, author, Mirror of Intimacy: Daily Reflections on Emotional and Erotic Intelligence
“Michelle Mays weaves personal insight, beautiful writing, current attachment science, and clinical expertise to share this gift with us. With gentle respect for the busy brain, The Betrayal Bind reaches her reader where the heart is, guiding us to a deeper understanding of why sexual betrayal is so devastating. Michelle helps us hold ourselves, our friends, our family, and/or our clients with the utmost compassion in the aftermath of betrayal. I recommend this book for not only those swimming in the deep water of sexual betrayal, but also for adults living with the intimate betrayal that happens when our first caregivers are abusive.”—Kelly McDaniel, LPC, trauma therapist and author of Ready to Heal and Mother Hunger
“In this landmark text, Michelle Mays provides a path to healing from the pain of relationship betrayal. She candidly shares her personal experience of recovery and renewal from the trauma of partner betrayal. This transformation provided her with the understanding and empathy she expresses as a therapist, speaker, and author. The Betrayal Bind offers new hope for individuals and partners seeking to move beyond the hurt of their past to experience the life and relationship they desire.”—Dr. Mark Sanna, Breakthrough Coaching
“[The Betrayal Bind is] one of the most useful and comprehensive books on identifying and healing emotional betrayal. Michelle Mays’s examination of these painful issues is laced with generous doses of practical advice and hope for the future. Relying on her personal and professional experience, she has created a must-read for betrayed partners, cheating loved ones, and the therapists who treat them.”—Robert Weiss PhD, author of Prodependence: Beyond the Myth of Codependency and Sex Addiction 101
“Michelle Mays provides a well-grounded process for healing and restoration following one of the most devastating life events possible: the intimate betrayal by a loved one. Such a trauma shatters everything, including a sense of self, sense of safety, sense of connection with self and others, and our higher power or God. Betrayed partners will find hope within this comprehensive book that provides well-grounded tools and a pathway toward healing and post-traumatic growth following betrayal."—Dr. Barbara Steffens, coauthor of Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal and founding President of the Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS)
About the Author
Michelle Mays LPC, CSAT-S, is a Licensed Professional Counselor and expert in treating sexual betrayal and trauma. She is the founder of the Center for Relational Recovery and the creator of the Braving Hope™ Treatment Model designed to address the devastating dilemma that betrayed partners face when their significant other is unsafe to connect to, yet connection is the key to healing. To learn more visit michellemays.com.
Product details
- Publisher : Central Recovery Press
- Publication date : March 7, 2023
- Language : English
- Print length : 368 pages
- ISBN-10 : 1949481778
- ISBN-13 : 978-1949481778
- Item Weight : 2.31 pounds
- Dimensions : 6 x 0.75 x 9 inches
- Best Sellers Rank: #165,916 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #73 in Marriage
- #408 in Popular Psychology Counseling
- #702 in Interpersonal Relations (Books)
- Customer Reviews:
About the author

Michelle Mays is a Licensed Professional Counselor and expert in treating sexual betrayal and trauma. She is the founder of the Relational Recovery Institute in Northern Virginia outside of DC and the creator of the ground-breaking Braving Hope® Coaching program for individuals recovering from betrayal trauma.
Michelle has created a new attachment-based approach called The Braving Model™ to address the devastating dilemma that betrayed partners face when their significant other is unsafe to connect to, yet connection is the key to healing. She offers professional training and certification in the model to therapists treating partner betrayal trauma.
Michelle is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Supervisor in both Virginia and Washington DC, and a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and Supervisor. She was trained by Pia Mellody in the Post Induction Therapy model for treating developmental trauma and is a Certified Professional Coach.
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