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The hill I will die on

  • Nels Abbey

    double quotation markThe hill I will die on: That stone-cold classic you love isn’t a party starter – it’s a party destroyer

    Nels Abbey
    Cameo’s Candy is one of the all-time great funk records, but after a six-minute dance formation everyone is heading for the door, says author Nels Abbey
  • Phineas Harper

    double quotation markThe hill I will die on: Never decline an invitation on the day of the event. Ghosting is the humane option

    Phineas Harper
    Either say you can’t make it well in advance or keep stumm, says writer Phineas Harper
  • Toussaint Douglass

    double quotation markThe hill I will die on: Pigeons are working-class heroes and deserve some respect

    Toussaint Douglass
    These unfairly maligned animals were nuggets for our ancestors and served for the UK during the second world war, says Lewisham comedian Toussaint Douglass
  • Viv Groskop

    double quotation markThe hill I will die on: Faux Cyrillic is a load of old crдp

    Viv Groskop
    To the designers of film posters, I suppose it looks cleverly exotic – but there are 250 million readers of Cyrillic globally, and its misuse grinds our gears, says comedian and author Viv Groskop
  • Athena Kugblenu

    double quotation markThe hill I will die on: Online shops, please, I beg – stop with endless post-purchase emails

    Athena Kugblenu
    You really want me to review my buy? Yes, it was fine. But that is where I would like our relationship to end, says comedian Athena Kugblenu
  • Jason Hazeley

    double quotation markThe hill I will die on: Washing-up bowls are horrible and should be banned

    Jason Hazeley
    These unhygienic, offensive lumps of plastic do everything the sink does, and less. It’s time to get rid, says comedy writer Jason Hazeley
  • Katy Guest

    double quotation markThe hill I will die on: Fruit with meat? What kind of pervert are you?

    Katy Guest
    Please don’t ever offer me cranberry sauce with my roast turkey – that’s just jam on your Christmas dinner, and who wants that, asks Guardian Opinion deputy editor Katy Guest
  • Rachel Connolly

    double quotation markThe hill I will die on: Being late can be the height of good manners and decorum, actually

    Rachel Connolly
    Instead of seeing etiquette as a set of categorical rules, we should recognise that poor form can actually have good consequences, says writer Rachel Connolly
  • Hannah J Davies

    double quotation markThe hill I will die on: Ignore the haters, TK Maxx is actually quite good

    Hannah J Davies
    The chaos is undeniable, but where else are you going to get a pair of jeans and a pistachio-cream panettone cake for such a reasonable price, asks culture writer and editor Hannah J Davies